In a message dated 04/24/2001 2:13:24 PM Central Daylight Time,
[log in to unmask] writes:

<<  Families =
 often had few supports. Is it any wonder that they didn't know what to do? =
 I am not trying to excuse unforgivable behahaviour but at the same time it =
 is an extremely daunting task to raise a "typical" child. When your child =
 has a disability or chronic health problem, it becomes a terrifying =
 prospect. And that's WITH education, support and resources... >>

Yvonne,

This & Joanne's post have caused me to reflect on both my parents' & my own
parenting.I have often said God only gives you what He thinks you can
handle.I guess I learned that from my parents.I was their 1st child to
survive.( Mom had an ectopic pregnancy 5 years earlier.) They were still
paying off my hospital bill when my sister came along.Right about the time I
finally learned to walk, they discovered my sister had a hole in her
heart.She had shunt surgery at 4 to buy her time before the openheart surgery
at the age of 9.Mom ultimately had 4 children. They always lived away from
family, so the only supports they had were the doctors and good friends. I
remember some people being surprised that they would let me find my own way
of getting back up when I fell.I'm glad they taught me to be as independent
as possible.Dad always said you play the hand you're dealt.

Little did I know then how those lessons & attitude would serve me well as I
became a parent myself.My 2nd daughter was already diagnosed as language
impaired when we got my son's diagnosis of Autism.The Special School District
psychologist was dumbfounded that we weren't flying around the room in rage &
disbelief at the news.We said even if we did that it wouldn't change
anything, so why expend the energy especially in public ? I DID cry over this
news when it was corroborated by the neurologist, but that was more due to a
few family members insensitive comments about his behavior prior to the
diagnosis.It helped when I wrote a letter that was sent to all our family
members explaining the diagnosis & that if they could not handle his behavior
they should leave the room or stay away from us.I also mentioned something
about not judging us since we were doing our best.

I think we're all finding out that venting in a letter is very therapeutic.

Karen:)