Mike is Dead 
Two guys meet up in a bar. The first one asks, "Did
your hear the news - Mike is dead??!!!" 

"Whoah, what the happened to him?" 

"Well he was on his way over to my house the other day
and when he arrived outside the house he didn't brake
properly and boom - He hit the curb, the car flipped
over and he crashed through the sunroof - Went flying
through the air and smashed through my upstairs
bedroom window." 

"What a horrible way to die!" 

"No no, he survived that, that didn't kill him at all.
So, he's landed in my upstairs bedroom and he's all
covered in broken glass on the floor. Then, he spots
the big old antique wardrobe we have in the room and
reaches up for the handle to try to pull himself up.
He's just dragging himself up when bang, this massive
wardrobe comes crashing down on top of him, crushing
him and breaking most of his bones." 

"What a way to go, that's terrible!" 

"No no, that didn't kill him -- he survived that. He
managed to get the wardrobe off him and crawls out
onto the landing, he tries to pull himself up on the
banister but under his weight, the banister breaks and
he goes falling down on to the first floor. In mid
air, all the broken banister poles spin and fall on
him, pinning him to the floor, sticking right through
him." 

"Now that is the most unfortunate way to go!" 

"No no, that didn't kill him, he even survived that.
So he's on the downstairs landing, just beside the
kitchen. He crawls in to the kitchen, tries to pull
himself up on the stove, but reached for a big pot of
boiling hot water, whoosh, the whole thing came down
on him and burned him all up." 

"Man, what a way to go!" 

"No no, he survived that, he survived that! He's lying
on the ground, covered in boiling water and he spots
the phone and tries to pull himself up, to call for
help, but instead he grabs the light switch and pulls
the whole thing off the wall and the water and
electricity didn't mix and so he got electrocuted,
wallop, 10,000 volts shot through him." 

"Now that is one awful way to go!" 

"No no, he survived that..." 

"Hold on now, just how the heck did Mike die?" 

"I shot him." 

"You shot him? What the heck did you shoot him for?" 

"The man was destroying my house!" 





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