WINDOWS 2000- Texas Version
Dear Consumers:
It has come to our attention that a few copies of the WINDOWS 2000 TEXAS
EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside of the state of
Texas.  If you have one of these, you may need some help understanding
the  commands.

The TEXAS EDITION may be recognized by the unique opening screen. It
reads: WINDERS
2000, with a background picture of Willie Nelson superimposed on the
Alamo.

Please also note:
The Recycle Bin is labeled "Outhouse"
My Computer is called "This Dern Contraption"
Dial Up Networking is called "Good Ol' Boys"
Control Panel is known as "The Dashboard"
Hard Drive is referred to as "4-Wheel Drive"
Floppies are "Them little ol' plastic thangs"
Instead of an error message, "Duct tape" pops up

CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN TEXAS EDITION: Cancel............stopdat
Reset..............try'er agin Yes..................yep
No...................nope Find.................hunt fer it Go
to...............over yonder Back................back yonder
Help.................hep me out here Stop..................kwitit
Start.................crank'er up Settings............settins
Programs..........stuff at duz stuff

Also note that theTEXAS EDITION does not recognize capital letters or
punctuation marks.

Some programs that are exclusive to Winders 2000:
Tiperiter.....................a word processing program Colerin'
Book.............a graphics program Cyferin' mersheen.....calculator
Outhouse paper.........notepad Inner-net....................Microsoft
Explorer 5.0 Pitchers......................a graphics viewer

We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if  you received a copy
of the TEXAS EDITION.  You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement
version. I hope this helps all ya'll!  Billy Bob Gates