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Subject:
From:
Trisha Cummings <[log in to unmask]>
Reply To:
St. John's University Cerebral Palsy List
Date:
Fri, 10 Dec 1999 12:46:16 -0500
Content-Type:
text/plain
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Sorry guys - I have to share this - I think is really funny!!

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Continuing the current trend of large-scale mergers and acquisitions, it
was announced today at a press conference that Christmas and Hanukkah
will merge. An industry source said that the deal had been in the works
for about 1300 years.

While details were not available at press time, it is believed that the
overhead cost of having twelve days of Christmas and eight days of
Hanukkah was becoming prohibitive for both sides. By combining forces,
we're told, the world will be able to enjoy consistently high-quality
service during the Fifteen Days of Chrismukah, as the new holiday is
being called.

Massive layoffs are expected, with lords a-leaping and maids a-milking
being the hardest hit. As part of the conditions of the agreement, the
letters on the dreydl, currently in Hebrew, will be replaced by Latin,
thus becoming unintelligible to a wider audience.

Also, instead of translating to "A great miracle happened there," the
message on the dreydl will be the more generic "Miraculous stuff
happens."  In exchange, it is believed that Jews will be allowed to use
Santa Claus and his vast merchandising resources for buying and
delivering their gifts.

One of the sticking points holding up the agreement for at least three
hundred years was the question of whether Jewish children could leave
milk and cookies for Santa even after having eaten meat for dinner. A
breakthrough came last year, when Oreos were finally declared to be
Kosher.

All sides appeared happy about this.

A spokesman for Chrismukah, Inc., declined to say whether a takeover of
Kwanzaa might not be in the works as well. He merely pointed out that,
were it not for the independent existence of Kwanzaa, the merger between
Christmas and Chanukah might indeed be seen as an unfair cornering of the
holiday market. Fortunately for all concerned, he said, Kwanzaa will help
to maintain the competitive balance.

He then closed the press conference by leading all present in a rousing
rendition of "Oy Vey, All Ye Faithful."

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