To laugh...

           These are extracts from actual letters sent to various
councils
           and Housing associations throughout the UK:

           1. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired
and
           burnt my knob off.

           2. I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very
badly
           when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.

           3. And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls

           against my fence.

           4. I wish to report that the tiles are missing from the
outside
           toilet roof. I think it was that bad wind the other night
that
           blew them off.

           5. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away
from
           the wall.

           6. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path, my
wife
           tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant?

           7. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.
50%
           of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and the
rest
           are plain filthy.

           8. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children
until it
           is cleared.

           9. Will you please send a man to look at my water? It is a
funny
           colour and not fit to drink.

           10. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three
           pieces.

           11. I want to complain about the farmer across the road,
every
           morning at 6:00am his cock wakes me up and its now getting
too
           much for me.

           12. The man next door has a large erection in the garden,
which
           is unsightly and dangerous.

           13. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two small children and

           would like a third so please send someone round to do
something
           about it.

           14. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would
you
           please do something about the noise made by the man I have on
top
           of me every night.

           15. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job
and
           satisfy my wife.

           16. I have had the clerk of the works down on the floor six
times
           but I still have had no satisfaction.

           17. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back
           passage has fungus in it.

           18. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and
I
           just can't take it any more.