Ken,
I competely understand.
Trisha
-----Original Message-----
From: St. John's University Cerebral Palsy List
[mailto:[log in to unmask]]On Behalf Of ken barber
Sent: Friday, April 08, 2005 10:51 AM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: Parental help needed
without saying why for the ugliness of it, sara came
to the point that we just said, "fine, move out." "you
are an adult, we can not stop you from doing this, it
is your decision, but, you can't do it and stay in our
house." it was very hard. ben was watching all of
this. it was as much for him as for sara, but, it was
for both of them. she is married now and she is her
husbands and her own problem now, but, as long as she
was with us, we were the athority....
--- Trisha Cummings <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> Hi Ken,
>
> This is the problem - her parents both abdicated
> their rights to me legally - we went to court and I
> have a court order which made me sole custodian of
> this child. So for as long as she was minor - under
> 18 - I and I alone had the custodial rights which
> could only be changed by the state of Virginia thru
> legal recourse. At 18 they are suddenly adults. As
> far as I know - my rights ended even with Amber the
> day she turned 18, also. Amber accepts she is not an
> yet an adult and needs guidance and a home etc. and
> there is tradeoff for this. Without sounding
> terrible I can't talk about Alex and her view point.
>
> Trisha
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: St. John's University Cerebral Palsy List
> [mailto:[log in to unmask]]On Behalf Of
> ken barber
> Sent: Thursday, April 07, 2005 4:49 PM
> To: [log in to unmask]
> Subject: Re: Parental help needed
>
>
> if you are not actually the parent here, trish, i
> think you need to rethink your role. who is actually
> being the "parent?" i think you did assume that
> role.
> --- Trisha Cummings <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>
> > Hi Kat,
> >
> > Well, for starters - this minefield and Alex is
> 18
> > now. She has an apointment next week with a
> > otolaryngologist down in Newports were she goes to
> > college. Step one. I have to wait till she back
> here
> > - she will be back - the end of May. Then I take
> her
> > to our primary care doctor and have a physical,
> and
> > get a referral for a gastroentrogolist. We then
> rule
> > out any real medical problems, get an offical
> > diganosis from a professional, and move to
> > recommended care from there. I have to work with
> her
> > here, its no like with Amber where I am actually
> the
> > parent. If she knew what I thought and planned -
> she
> > would refuse to do it. And at 18 - she can. And I
> > won't even get into the emotional issues here. I
> > will continue to do what's right for her - for as
> > long as she allows it.
> >
> > Trisha
> >
> >
> >
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: St. John's University Cerebral Palsy List
> > [mailto:[log in to unmask]]On Behalf Of
> > [log in to unmask]
> > Sent: Wednesday, April 06, 2005 1:41 PM
> > To: [log in to unmask]
> > Subject: Re: Parental help needed
> >
> >
> > I confess I'm wondering why you're waiting until
> the
> > summer to get this
> > checked out=2E If it's bulima, her esophaugus
> could
> > be damaged, and the
> > longer you wait for treatment the worse off she
> will
> > be=2E If it's peptic=
> >
> > ulcers or something like that, the untreated
> ulcer
> > could perferate the
> > stomach lining and she could be in danger of
> > peronitis, a very dangerous
> > condition=2E So don't wait to get her to a
> > doctor=2E
> >
> > Kat=20
> >
> > Original Message:
> > -----------------
> > From: Trisha Cummings TrishaC@SMDI=2ECOM
> > Date: Wed, 06 Apr 2005 10:44:46 -0400
> > To: C-PALSY@MAELSTROM=2ESTJOHNS=2EEDU
> > Subject: Re: Parental help needed
> >
> >
> > Hi Again Kat,
> >
> > I think you may have hit the nail on the head
> -
> > eating disorders are =
> > a
> > direct result of emotional problems=2E I am going
> to
> > research bulimia -
> > Thank!!! been thinking about since I got your
> > e-mail=2E
> >
> > Trisha
> >
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: St=2E John's University Cerebral Palsy List
> > [mailto:C-PALSY@MAELSTROM=2ESTJOHNS=2EEDU]On
> Behalf
> > Of ksalkin@triad=2Err=2E=
> > com
> > Sent: Wednesday, April 06, 2005 8:52 AM
> > To: C-PALSY@MAELSTROM=2ESTJOHNS=2EEDU
> > Subject: Re: Parental help needed
> >
> >
> > Alex may be bingeing and purging=3D2E Remember
> that
> > eating disorders are
> > reactions to stress and Alex may be having
> problems
> > handling uni=3D2E If =
> > th=3D
> > e
> > teacher went to the lengths of contacting you
> > regarding Alex's problems,
> > she must be very concerned as I don't think uni
> > teachers or professors
> > normally contact parents for things like that -
> uni
> > students are normally
> > regarded as adults who are responsible for their
> own
> > behavior and health=3D=
> > 2E=3D
> > =3D20
> >
> > As I said, Bobby probably will have better advice
> to
> > give you but I'm thin=
> > =3D
> > k
> > you were right at least in investigating the
> matter,
> > although I think you
> > might have talked to Alex before talking to the
> > teacher=3D2E But then, Al=
> > ex=3D
> >
> > might have told you she wasn't having any problems
> > when she really is=3D2E=
> > =3D
> > I
> > feel it's a judgement call every parents has to
> make
> > in a situation like
> > this=3D2E
> >
> > Sorry I'm not being much help=3D2E=3D20
> >
> > Kat
> >
> > Original Message:
> > -----------------
> > From: Trisha Cummings TrishaC@SMDI=3D2ECOM
> > Date: Wed, 06 Apr 2005 07:52:16 -0400
> > To: C-PALSY@MAELSTROM=3D2ESTJOHNS=3D2EEDU
> > Subject: Re: Parental help needed
> >
> >
> > Hi Kat,
> >
> > This wasn't angle I had thought of - she is very
> > much over weigh and has=
> > =3D
> >
> > gained at least 20 pounds being away school=3D2E I
> > will take her to a
> > gastroentrologist this summer - and I do see that
> > she has counseling=3D2E =
> > As=3D
> >
> > Amber said she makes herself throw becasue it
> makes
> > her stomach quit
> > hurting when she is upset=3D2E Was I wrong to talk
> > to the teacher tho - An=
> > d
> > thanks for giving me something else to consider
> and
> > check out=3D2E All pos=
>
=== message truncated ===
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