Hi all,
We have an early intervention assessment this week with a PT and OT to see if we qualify for help for our son with gross motor and possibly Speech and gagging issues. My concern is that the social worker will be there also. She alluded last week that my sons delays may be due to my "overcaring nature" and mothers sometimes are too concerned and hovering. Made my blood boil but I said nothing. Now I am concerned she may influence the PT and OT. Do I say something at the onset of the evaluation? Say something only if they say he doesn't meet the criteria? The social worker thought I should be introducing more foods and found out I am an attachment parent (co-sleeping and extended breastfeeding). My older son was very allergic to all dairy and eggs so I haven't introduced them into my younger son's diet yet and, hello,- he gaggs and doesn't seem to have any interest in chewing. My husband feels that I am responsible for our sons delays "too nurturing yet not engaging enough"-
his (and his mother's) explaination as to why my son has been globally delayed with motor and intellectual milestones. What do I say to this- do I want to be right, that my son does have some issues and prove my husband wrong. I would be thrilled if I was the reason for all the delays yet somehow I am hurt that he blames me. (to be fair he says he's not blaming me just pointing out what he thinks) Very frustrating.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks
Heidi
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Sent: Monday, July 23, 2007 12:00:49 AM
Subject: C-PALSY Digest - 20 Jul 2007 to 22 Jul 2007 (#2007-136)
There is 1 message totalling 110 lines in this issue.
Topics of the day:
1. GO-D FOOD FOR THOUGHT PLEASE READ Are we to blame for our son's brain
dysfunction? - Latest Questions
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Date: Sun, 22 Jul 2007 12:16:49 -0400
From: Meir Weiss <[log in to unmask]>
Subject: GO-D FOOD FOR THOUGHT PLEASE READ Are we to blame for our son's brain dysfunction? - Latest Questions
http://www.chabad.org/library/article.asp?AID=3D541123
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Are we to blame for our son's brain dysfunction?
Question:
My son was diagnosed with a form of brain dysfunction. Please let me =
know if his parents or grandparents did something to deserve this =
punishment. Should we blame ourselves for his illness? Also, how can we =
help him?
Answer:
I am sorry about your son's diagnosis. It can be a difficult time for =
parents to reach an acceptance of why things happened this way. Often, =
they will incorrectly blame themselves or fault themselves for a child's =
sickness.=20
We do not know why G=E2=80=91d runs His world as He does. We do not =
understand why there is suffering, sickness, poverty, hunger or the many =
seemingly unfair challenges and tribulations in our world.=20
We are told that sometimes very great souls need to descend to this =
world. These souls are so lofty that the physical realm cannot contain =
them, so they come into a body that "shatters" from its impact. Your =
son's brain might be somewhat dysfunctional because of the great holy =
soul that is enclothed within it. Many parents of special needs children =
vouch for this, explaining how despite the child's many needs, these =
children have a certain purity to them, or a certain power to them, in =
helping others to accept them because of who they are, not what they can =
give to this world, or to their families. Such children teach us the =
power of real love--a love that is not based on any preconditions.
As far as your question if you did anything to "deserve" this: Special =
children are most often given to very special families, who can see =
beyond their external dysfunction to the beauty of their soul. No, I do =
not think you should blame yourself for your son's sickness.=20
As far as what you can do to help him--as with any area of our physical =
world, its source is in the spiritual worlds. You can obviously help =
this child by doing mitzvot in his merit. You can choose any mitzvah =
that you like--extra charity, extra prayers, helping someone in need, =
mezuzah, kashrut, etc.--and keep it in his merit. You will thus be =
strengthening him spiritually and hopefully physically too.=20
While G=E2=80=91d listens to all prayers, the supplications of a =
tzaddik, a righteous individual, are especially potent. I would advise =
you to write a note to be placed on the Rebbe's gravesite, asking him to =
pray on your child's behalf. Click here =
<http://www.chabad.org/article.asp?AID=3D36248> to find instructions on =
how to do so.
Wishing you success and blessings,
Chana Weisberg for Chabad.org
=09
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Chana Weisberg is a noted educator and columnist and lectures worldwide =
on issues relating to women, faith, relationships and the Jewish soul.
All names of persons and locations or other identifying features =
referenced in these questions have been omitted or changed to preserve =
the anonymity of the questioners.
=09
The content on this page is copyrighted by the author, publisher and/or =
Chabad.org, and is produced by Chabad.org. If you enjoyed this article, =
we encourage you to distribute it further, provided that you comply with =
the copyright policy <javascript:void(0);> .
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In everlasting memory of Chabad.org's founder, Rabbi Yosef Y. Kazen =
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