On Monday 07 January 2008 03:32:01 ken barber wrote:
> oh....
I suspect you didn't notice that I had re-written the original story (after
first 3 paras) and was commenting that my version was "not so funny"!!
Cheers
Deri
> --- Deri James <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> > Not so funny!!
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Humans originally existed as members of small bands
> > of nomadic
> > hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the
> > mountains during the summer
> > and would go to the coast and live on fish and
> > lobster in the winter.
> >
> > The two most important events in all of history were
> > the invention of beer
> > and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was
> > invented to get man to the
> > beer. These were the foundation of modern
> > civilization and together were
> > the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two
> > distinct subgroups:
> >
> >
> > 1. Liberals
> > 2. Conservatives.
> >
> > Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that
> > was the beginning of
> > agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum
> > can were invented yet, so
> > while our early humans were sitting around waiting
> > for them to be invented,
> > they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how
> > villages were formed.
> >
> > Some men spent their days tracking and killing
> > animals to B-B-Q at night
> > while they were drinking beer. Their favourite
> > hunting method was to burn the
> > prairie and wait for woolly mamoths to stampede off
> > the cliffs. This was the
> > beginning of what is known as the Conservative
> > movement.
> >
> > Other men realised that if you cared for the
> > environment, looked after your
> > animals, and planted fields, you did not have to
> > chase over miles of prairie
> > to kill dangerous animals for food, the food was
> > right on your doorstep. This
> > was the start of the Liberal Movement.
> >
> > Although the fierce hunters enjoyed their life, it
> > was lonely, days away from
> > their women, having to go further and further to
> > find a bit of prairie they
> > hadn't burned. But this was the way their
> > forefathers lived - this was "the
> > Conservative way".
> >
> > Meanwhile the liberal farmers soon discovered that
> > if they all worked together
> > and cooperated with each other, each specialising in
> > things they were good
> > at, they could provide more than enough food for the
> > whole community. There
> > was a surplus, they could start to do art, music,
> > dance. If one of their
> > community became sick or old, there was enough food
> > for them to be looked
> > after. They chose a donkey as a symbol to show that
> > even the lowliest &
> > dumbest creature was an important integral part of
> > the community.
> >
> > A hunter who became injured or too old to hunt lost
> > status, he either had to
> > beg for food, or sacrifice himself as bait to a
> > sabre tooth tiger so that the
> > clan could kill the tiger. He would then be revered
> > as a "hero".
> >
> > Of course, eventually all the prairie had been
> > destroyed and the last woolly
> > mammoth was killed, the proud hunters had to join
> > the liberals. You would be
> > wrong if you thought that was the end of the
> > Conservatives, no, you can still
> > see them, they're the ones who say "Why should I pay
> > taxes to anyone
> > else.", "Right to bear arms", "Survival of the
> > fittest", "Clan/family/country
> > comes first - fiddle sticks to the rest.", whilst
> > benefitting from a world
> > where only cooperation, altruism, and consideration
> > is the only successful
> > pattern for long term survival. Oh, and they still
> > hanker after the woolly
> > mammoth, but since they killed them all, the
> > elephant is the closest thing.
> >
> > Cheers
> >
> > Deri
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