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Subject:
From:
Kendall David Corbett <[log in to unmask]>
Reply To:
Cerebral Palsy List <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Mon, 27 Feb 2006 14:49:47 -0700
Content-Type:
text/plain
Parts/Attachments:
text/plain (211 lines)
Anthony,

I'd really strongly suggest that your friend get in touch with the
people at Through the Looking Glass, as it sounds like she will be (and
probably should be) raising her daughter on her own.  TLG also has legal
resources that she can find out about to help her protect her rights in
case this schmuck (sp?) does try for custody of the little girl.  If
you're in Fargo, definitely have your friend get in touch with Cathy
Haarstad at Minot State, and ask her for resources in the Fargo area.
Cathy's contact info is:

Cathy Haarstad, MS
Parent/Consumer Coordinator
North Dakota Center for Persons with Disabilities   
Minot State University 
500 University Avenue West 
Minot, ND 58707
(701) 858-3230
(701) 858-3483
[log in to unmask]
http://www.ndcpd.org 

I'll also get in touch with our Victim's Services Coordinator to find
out who her counterpart in North Dakota is.

Kendall 

An unreasonable man (but my wife says that's redundant!)

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one
persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all
progress depends on the unreasonable man.

-George Bernard Shaw 1856-1950


-----Original Message-----
From: Anthony Arnold [mailto:[log in to unmask]] 
Sent: Monday, February 27, 2006 1:58 PM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: Fwd: Marriage

The attendant who's a RN did tell the police her side of the story and
some
of her past experiences with this gal's husband, odds are that they have
it
documented somewhere.  The husband also has a criminal record and was
once
in jail for sometime, which would probably help if they do divorce, I
would
hope the decision who gets the daughter would be easier because of that.
But he has her believing that she would stand no chances of even
visitation,
but little he knows they would look at his past. The part that kills me
is
that he believes that they can live off of her SSI, and every time he
has no
work, the more benefits she can receive, so he has just stopped looking
for
work, which is totally wrong, we have people who definitely need and
can't
get.  Another thing is through housing, people can receive assistance
building a house (which is wonderful), this couple built theirs, and
whenever he is out of work, they only have to pay a dollar a month for
the
payment.  Don't get me wrong, I'm happy that people with disabilities
now
have a opportunity of owning a house, but we don't need to abuse the
system
for others.  

Thanks, 
Anthony 
Visit my website at www.anthonyarnold.net

-----Original Message-----
From: Cerebral Palsy List [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf
Of
ken barber
Sent: Monday, February 27, 2006 1:51 PM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: Fwd: Marriage

if you think there is abuse, this RN may be the person
to report it to the athorities as a medical
professional has an obligation. you might want to
approach her. 

--- Anthony Arnold <[log in to unmask]> wrote:

> I guess it's typical of abusive situations
> (unfortunately), but when they're
> at church together as a family, everybody thinks he
> is a kind guy helping
> his wife anyway he can, but when they're out of the
> church environment, his
> whole attitude changes.  But at church, you can
> typically get volunteers to
> help you at home, which is something he wants
> because he doesn't want to do
> anything for his wife.  
> 
> This gal Also has a personal attendant coming in,
> and once she requested her
> attendant to build up their couch, to make it easier
> for her to get on and
> off, the attendant did, and it was a fairly cheap
> and simple modification to
> do, but the husband threw a fit and refused to sit
> on the couch, and
> actually called the cops on this attendant for
> trying to do this.  This
> attendant is a RN, and has a license to protect, and
> didn't want this to go
> on her record.  The positive thing was the cops were
> very understanding to
> why the gal needed the couch built up, so they did
> nothing besides just
> logged the call.  This attitude is very foreign for
> me, I have always been
> surrounded by people who always have not only
> accepted but shown some
> interest in my wheelchair and other assistive
> technology devices that assist
> me with my daily life.  
> 
> Thanks, 
> Anthony 
> Visit my website at www.anthonyarnold.net
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Cerebral Palsy List
> [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of
> ken barber
> Sent: Monday, February 27, 2006 11:50 AM
> To: [log in to unmask]
> Subject: Re: Fwd: Marriage
> 
> it is definatly abuse. you need to get the woman and
> child some help. i wish i could say that a prist
> would
> be the way to go, but, i know from experience that
> some religous leaders will not step up and do the
> right thing, many times they take the "see no
> evil..."
> approach. if the priest does not get her some help,
> then you go somewhere else to get it. 
> 
> --- Kathleen Salkin <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> 
> > Mag's right, I'd see this as spousal abuse, not as
> a
> > guy that has got  
> > problems with his wife's disability.  I think you
> > ought to talk to  
> > their priest and see what he says.  If not their
> > parish priest, then  
> > another priest.  Unless he is very conservative on
> > such matters, the  
> > priest should be willing to talk them about this
> > situation.
> > 
> > Maybe the husband has a drinking problem, or even
> > worse, a meth habit  
> > (all too common these days, I fear).  Thus, it's
> > imperative that an  
> > experienced person get in there and evaluate the
> > situation.  Think in  
> > terms of saving that lovely child from harm as
> well
> > as her mother.
> > 
> > I think the clergy has a moral, if not legal
> > responsibility to report  
> > it to the authorities if he sees that this is a
> > dangerous situation  
> > for the woman and her child.  But something does
> > need to be done.   
> > Too many women die or become severely disabled at
> > the hands of  
> > abusive men.
> > 
> > 
> > Kat
> > 
> > On 27 Feb 2006, at 02:34, Magenta Raine wrote:
> > >
> > > There are many resources for able bodied
> > marriages,  you can look on
> > > Amazon.com for ideas for books. Contact Easter
> > seals, sometimes  
> > > they have
> > > support groups for married folks with
> > disabilities. also look for  
> > > books
> > > that help women have better self esteem.
> > 
> 
> 
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