Thanks for the compliment.  You are too kind Vince.  I have felt very
welcomed here.

Obviously I can't talk about disability awareness in every single
conversation.  I can give you an example of what I mean though.  When I meet
somebody, they usually ask what I do for a living.  That's a routine
first-meeting question.  Now, since I'm retired, I think more about
disability rights issues than anything else in my serious-thinking hours.  I
tell them that I am retired from the government, and that I now seek
opportunities to promote disability awareness on behalf of the next
generation.  That answer almost always elicits good questions.  Because I
mention that my concerns are on behalf of children, they are usually even
more interested.  I've had a lot of terrifically positive conversations with
people using this strategy.

But I listen to them when they tell me what they do for a living too, and I
ask them questions and show genuine interest.  Sometimes when you listen to
somebody and pay close attention without interrupting, before too long they
end up telling you something that has been weighing on their heart.  I've
seen this time and time again.  So, I don't just use conversations with
people I meet for the "good of the cause," I want the conversation to me
mutually beneficial.  I just get to do part of my career in the conversation
-- that is promoting disability awareness.

The beauty of this strategy is that they ask all the questions.

The pay doesn't suck either.  It feels so good to have a positive disability
awareness conversation with a The, Temporarily, Totally (did I get 'em all
gang?) able bodied person.

So...this is basically what I meant.  I have rekindled a friendship with a
family I was close to in my teenage years, and when we exchanged new
information about ourselves, that's what I shared.  Now I see one of the
family members on a routine basis, and we don't talk about it that much, but
she will bring up things about disability rights issues from time to time.
She's developed an interest of her own, and has expressed her desire to
advocate when possible.  The most important thing about this rekindled
friendship, however, is the fact that it is rekindled.

Anyhooz, that's how I does it.  I answer questions about my disability too,
and I like they way you do it.

From time to time and lately most all the time, I am stuck in the house for
long periods, and I tend to become withdrawn from 3D people.  It takes a
while to get out of that mode when I'm out and about again.  I've also become
quite a loner.  Before I can do any of this stuff, I have to mentally jerk
myself back into humanland.  I don't know if that makes sense or not.

Pax dude,
Betty

[log in to unmask] writes:

<< I want to say first that I am always impressed with the quality of your
 posts.  Thank you.

 >Yes - the "before time" refers to my predisabilty days.  I know I'm >kind
 >of the lone ranger on this listserv, since you all have had CP >all of your
 >lives.  But still, I feel at home here.  Maybe part of it >is that I

 I'm glad you do.  In my years on this list I've found this crazy bunch to be
 open and inviting.

   >My concern is with day to day encounters with nondisabled people.  >When I
 >meet people and we start chatting, I always try to find a way >to work in a
 >little bit about disability awareness -- just a little

 MiGod!  Would not all those mental gymnastics make you a bit nuts?  I know
 it would to me.  In my humble opinion, it may create an appearance of
 militantcy and fixation.  Such things can make AB's run screaming.  We as
 disabled best not remind them of two things:

 1. It could someday be them that must live with a disability, and

 2. By our very being we inspire guilt in AB's because they know that the
 well meaning condescendance is just another form of prejudice.

 In my experience, the best way to educate people is just to be. I almost
 never discuss my disability with anyone.   Many AB friends have told me that
 I was the first disabled friend they had. Than I say, "Ok. What have you
 learned?  The trick is to have people know you not your disability, and in
 time they will ask you questions.

 "Can I ask you a question? I don't want to offend you or make you mad, or
 anything...."

 I know they are trying to ask about me and my cp...

 "Listen my friend...Chances are that I've answered your question many times
 in my life.  I'm not bothered at all.  In fact, I encourage you to ask. I'll
 talk about anything you like. It's ok.  If you really want a lively chat,
 ask me an original question.  That would be a treat for me."

 Please forgive my spelling

 That is my approach.  It works pretty well.

 Peace,

 Vince

  >>