Happy New Year to each and everyone of you, and may 1999  be the
best ever for all of you as we enter the home stretch towards the
century mark!!

Out of all the Christmas presents I received this year, there is
one that stands out that will never be replaced or exchanged at
any cost.  I got my life back!!

For those of you who know me well, you may remember that it was
just 6 years ago right around this time, that I was seriously
burned in a fire.  I was hospitalized for almost a year, and more
then once I  almost died.

Up until this last year, I thought I would never be able to
regain the independence I so enjoyed up to the time of my
accident.  Do to my injuries, I lost the bulk of use in both my
arms, and the complete loss of both my legs below the knee do to
amputation.  Despite many hours of rehab and exercise, it was
next to impossible for me to wheel myself around with the speed
and accuracy  that I use to.  So then I had to come up with a
plan to convince my insurance carrier to pay for an electric
wheelchair.  But deep down I just knew being blind &C-P wouldn't
land me a new chair anytime soon if at all.  But thanks to the
help and encouragement of allot of great people, in the end it
all worked out, and I couldn't have ended up with a better
chair!!

The other part of this that means so much to me, is that as of
this last November,  my Mother Jean and I officially became
Mother and Son again.  She's lived here with me pretty much
nonstop 24 hours a day 7 days a week for the last 4 years.  As
some of you know, before I got hurt I had lived on my own for
over 20 years.  So to have to go back to depending  totally on my
Mom again for everything after so long was quite an abrupt change
for both of us  to say the least.    There were lots of times
when it was very hard for me to see her as my Mother when she was
also my primary care-giver so much of the time.

But thanks to the Regional Center Of California, Mom and I are
both back in our own homes and very happy!!  The Regional Center
provides many kinds of programs and services for those who are
developmentally disabled.  I know some of you may have questions
as to just what that term means.  It applies in my case because
both my C-P and blindness happened at birth.  But there's also a
much broader definition of the term.   I'm going to respectfully
defer to others here who will be able to put it in a much better
context then I can.

so I am now in a supported living program.  The way it works is
that the Regional Center came in and evaluated  my needs.  Unlike
the majority of county or state service delivery programs in the
country who's only concern is that their consumers have just
enough support to enable them to get up, dressed, and fed, and
then go back to bed at night, they assist me in being able to
live a life outside my home as well.  They help me with
activities such as swimming, being able to travel via mass
transit,  being able to visit friends etc.  For those of you who
live here in California and Wisconsin (Someone please correct me
if I'm  wrong, but I believe Wisconsin still has a supported
living program do they not?)  and are consumers of Regional
Center, I'm sure you know just what I'm talking about.

For those of you on the C-P list, I think back to the many
discussions we've had over the issue of what we would do once our
parents and or other family members could no longer be there for
us.  I am sooo very thankful that I'm in a position where that
issue is no longer the priority that it used to be.  I really
hope the Feds will continue to take money from institutions that
only continue to warehouse and stunt the growth of all to large
numbers of us and begin to set up more supported living models
and other independent living alternatives.  We need to utilize
forums such as On  A Roll Radio and The Ragged Edge, to help
assure all of us who are disabled have the opportunity to get
into some kind of supported or other independent living program.

For those of you who feel you have nowhere to turn, it's so
important that you do not give up.  I almost did.

If you find your self at home right now with ageing parents, or
you just want to find a easy way out of your house and to that
restaurant or coffee shop down the street start by talking to the
other disabled folks around you.  You might be surprised at what
can happen when even just 2 people unite  them sells around an
issue.  I know all to well how hard it is to motivate your self
when you wake up in the morning and all you can feel are the
walls caving in around you.  But my experience has shown me that
particularly during those times, it's more important then ever to
not give in to that feeling.  Just get together with your friends
and decide to meet with each other on a weekly basis.  If for
some reason you just aren't able to meet as a group, then talk to
each other on the phone.  Even when you feel something is
hopeless, you'll be amazed at how much better you feel just by
talking to one another!!  When I was laying in the hospital so
badly burned and in so much pane, I thought there was no way I
would ever be sitting  in front of this keyboard writing to any
of you ever again.  As glad as I was to finally be released from
the hospital after all those months, my biggest fear was that I
would never be able to live independent of my Mother ever again.
I could sit here for the next hour naming all the people that
helped me get back to where I am today.  Instead, let me just
thank all of you who have helped me to be a whole person again.
You're all so cool and I couldn't have done it with out you!!!

Before I sign off, I want to say a word of praise to all my
support staff.  Thanks to Howard, Amy, K.C., Heather Rebecca, and
Jennifer.  As a team, we kick but!!  And oh yeah, thanks Mom.  I
know there were times during the last 6 or more years we almost
killed each other but in the end I think we both grew a hell of
allot.  I love ya!!!

So Happy New Year to all!!-Gary