Early one morning, a mother went to her sleeping son and woke him up,
 shaking him gently. "Wake up, Honey. It's time to go to school."
 "But why, Mama? I don't want to go to school," he whinned.

 "Give me two reasons why you don't want to go to school and maybe I'll
 consider it," she taunted.

 "One, all the children hate me. Two, all the teachers hate me," he
 concluded.

 "Oh! Those are not good reasons. Come on... get up. You have to go to
school now."

 "Give me two good reasons WHY I *should* go to school?" he retorted.

 "One, you are 52 years old, Honey. Two, you are the PRINCIPAL."

 **

 Bad Habit
 Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent, and the last
 instruction of the Mother Superior is that they must not get even a drop of
 paint on their habits. After conferring about this for a while, the two
nuns
 decide to lock the door of the room, strip off their habits and paint in
the
 nude. In the middle of the project, there comes a knock at the door.

 "Who is it?" calls one of the nuns.

 "Blind man," replies a voice from the other side of the door.

 The two nuns look at each other and shrug. No harm can come from letting a
 blind man into the room, they decide, so they open the door.

 "Good day, sisters," says the man, "where do you want these blinds?"

 **
 Dog Days
 A dog wanders far from his home in East Africa, and before long he sees a
 leopard heading toward him with the obvious intention of having lunch.

 "I'm in trouble now," the dog thinks. Then he notices some bones on the
 ground close by and settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the
 approaching cat.

 Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dog exclaims loudly, "Man, that
 was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here?"
 Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-stride, and slinks away
 into the trees. "Whew," says the leopard to himself. "That was close. That
 dog nearly had me."

 A monkey who has been watching from a nearby tree figures he can put this
 knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off
 he goes after the leopard. When the monkey catches up with the leopard, he
 tells how the dog outsmarted him, and the cat is furious.

 "Here, monkey," says the leopard. "Hop on my back and see what's going to
 happen to that conniving canine."

 The dog sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks,
 "What am I going to do now?" But instead of running, the dog sits down with
 his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet. Just when
 they get close enough to hear, the dog says, "Where's that monkey? I can
 never trust him. I sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another
 leopard, and he's still not back."


have a good day, all of you.