Early morning fun stuff.

Beth T. the OT


To: Elizabeth H. Thiers
Subject: Fw: Punnies



Subject: Punnies



  Insight and wisdom in the form of ...punnies!

  A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.

  What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).

  A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum
Blownapart.

  A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

  Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

  She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.

  If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.

  With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

  Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.

  When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

  The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

  You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

  He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

  A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

  He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

  The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at
  large.

  Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

  Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.

  When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd
  dye.

  Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

  Acupuncture is a jab well done.

  Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.