The following was a bier story written for some friends of mine who make beer
as a hobby way up in the Highlands of Scotland; as I used to make beer with
them; we would sit around the sauna in the winter evenings (sundown was at
2pm)after a day of breaking rock(new red sandstone Scottish; hard as some
granites) and taste some lovely heather ales.....so with that in mind...I
thought the pin heads may like it;;;if not you can stert your fire with
it..Best Michael

Now here is the bier story  your stories helped jog my memory;

Sadder budwiser
Back in communist times; 83-85; I worked on our embassies in Eastern
Europe;doing mostly marble and granite restoration.
One was our embassy
in Warsaw(Varshava sp)  The economy was totally helpless by then; there was
no food for
people(except the big state hotels)and every day there was a line of 3-400
people in front of our
embassy wanting to emigrate.People were willing to sell anything for dollars;
it was a bizare world of
have and have not; where the identidy of the players was always changing
under a teetering yet
oppresive  system.
Going to dinner was already an experience of running the gauntlet;.....
begging gypsies;.... and the
threadbare destitute outside.....;ruled by black leather jacketed
zomo's(secret police) ready to shake
you down;so they could enrich themselves......and the privlaged inside.
.....The glittering hotels of wealth; food ; and
corruption.
Prostituition was against the law;and an easy exit visa for you ;if you were
so compromised.But it and the black market was wide open..

Being newly arrived not all of us were on the up an up..So me and my men were
surprised at all the
female attention we got suddenly upon our arival.
          I like to think it was the rakish figure we cut; in handsome
profiles. upon our entering the hotel lobby;...all  dapper in our New York
suits and pinky rings..that turned heads with hushed approval..... and boy
were we disapointed  that this was not the case.
Like everything else in this life ; it was all an illusion. we were nothing
more than fresh meat for the
dressed up privilaged grifters; con artists;and escorts that cruise the hotel
hallways in search of marks.Like bait in a shark tank we didn't stand much of
a chance. ; as we were a long way from our turf..
 All this made worse  by the fact we were  employees of the American Embassy
and therefore a bigger
score to the malecontent.
By dinnertime the game was afoot and the hunt was on..
Now; to get to the hotel dining room from our floors;( we had one half of the
entire top floor) we had to
go through the bar ;... a notorious hive of cross cultural spies ;arab
sharpies; PLO operatives; (there
had been one assination there already)
Polish and Russian con artists;Gypsy money laundring;Romainian black market
profiteers; and high class call girls;
from every hovel from here to Translyvania..
The girls were sponsored by;and inspected by; the state... to snag hapless
rubes like my crew;... take
their money....'read their correspondence.and blue prints... and glean any
and all information that may
be usefull to them to sell or to blackmail....; or to turn over to the state
....so they could sell or
blackmaili with. Charming people; and dressed to kill..
Once  exposed; the victum was at their mercy; ...at a minimum they would  get
the John thrown out of
the country in disgrace.At worse he would languish in a Polish gaol until the
fine(ransome) could be
paid.
On our first night there; one of the girls gave my collegue the big hello;
and the dummy invited her to
dinner....She spoke no english but ate like a horse and drank tumblers of
Vodka bearing citrus and
pepper  peels in the bottle..
 I speak enough Russian  to get by; and I knew that Poles in a Russification
program;...had.... by law
....all had taken some Russian.
So we chatted amicably in simple Russian under the massive chandiliers;and
heavy red drapery of the
faux gilt dining room ...: whilst.... I watched cinderella put away a
mountain of heavy borcht in red cabbage.and blintzes...much to her credit she
was carefull enough not to take the peas with her knife ;least should she
offend someone, and give her self away.
 We understood one another just  enough  to joke a little in the risque of
double meaning...and have a few naughty laughs before flushing her out over
the desert on  her  price for the evenings
entertainment;.
I do not remember all  the meal per se;     I do remember we paid in
dollars....;the most sought after currency;so much so
 that... we had 3 waiters at our table in waiting...so  when someone lights a
smoke; or emptys a glass;  there is  the white jackest with gold
braid   waiting with the match and refill.
We were also served a beautifull light Chech pilsner called Budwhere;(sp?)
which is the orginal
budwiser and the whole reason Im telling this story.......Budwhere;dates back
to 1640...the story goes something like this;
 Budwiser at sometime in the 20's or 30's bought out the international rights
to the name; and the little
brewry has been surpressed in Chech bohemia ever since;
.. it is unknown even to most  beer aficinados;.... were it allowed in this
country(UsA) it would be an
instant best seller; change our tastes; and humble a giant  without
portfolio; to his rightful place.
.Lets see;if memory serves me; the cost of the dinner in this cash starved
economy was five (yes
virginia); five dollars. Thats with tip..;with Russian champagne;.. and the
Budwhere ;(but not the girl);
 No;my collegue had come to his senses by the meals end;and realized that
this coy Natasha in the
black power heels; who spoke with her hand on his lap; was more than he
bargained for;even after the
two for one sale; he declined her services.
We  then opted for a floor show in some 14th cent groin vaulted medevil stone
keller that you could
play football in. Unbeknowst to us; the evenings entertainment had;
 3 strippers and a dancing bear;.... and more drunken Russian soldiers than I
ever care to be with
again.
There was a sea of people in this 3 ring circus...;mostly in uniform;....one
thing about communism on
the surface it is clean ;bold and errect;..... below the surface it is
dangerous;;bankrupt; and morally currupt.
  I did however come away with a souvenier of sorts; sometime in the wee
hours;I was goaded into
and arm wrestling match with a very drunk; very large Russian sailor who
forfieted his service buckle to
me;(a large brass anchor with the soviet star;)
It was a contest of strength that I soon regretted having won as there now
formed a line of drunken
soldiers and sailors drinking vodka and Budwhere; fighting among themselves
to take me on.
I had several considerations; First was  for our saftey; the prospect of me
leaving this keller unscathed let alone with my
souvenier in tact seemed remote;.....second .....the participants were
getting really drunk with men and
women falling on the beer soaked floor;
.I had to take action to get us out of there;and not upset my now aggressive
challangers.so I let providence interfere; when there was a sudden
distraction on the runway in which the bear was seemingly having a (
unrehearsed)" go" at one of the now naked strippers. . This caused all eyes
to go to center stage errupting in a  a bacchanal bedlam   of men and women
cheering the bear on;
 Suddenly I was transported in time to an age of the neanderthal and the cave
bear;Its a wild ride(bears and humans) especially naked ones. Iv'e seen this
movie an it ain't pretty; .
 I figured now was as good of time as any to get out of there.
 So excusing myself briefly to the gents room (an open sewer) we politely
left the premises in hopes of
not offending our "new friends" by our sudden absence.
..... Who; we hope may remember this evening.... (dare I say it? ).....
sadder budwiser    Best Michael  ps  I still have the belt buckle.

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