Michael, Your stories are just a hoot. That punch sounds great!!! I
think I'd be a bit leary of Long Dong's sausages if I were you. There was
an old fella in the area who was called "Long Dong" I never inquired
about how he got that appelation, don't think I want to know. He was bone
lazy. He worked in the local hospital as a handy man. One day one of the
supervisors couldn't find him, finally she found him in a storage area
asleep in a chair. She had all the furniture removed from the room, next
time she went looking for him he was asleep leaning on the wall, propped up
on a pair of crutches. Ruth
At 6:33 PM -0500 12/30/05, [log in to unmask] wrote:
Act two
THE PARTY
DEC 29 and it's the end of the work year
The men are festive, their spirits up. It's a short workweek and we are
going home.
. Home for New Year. Home to a warm house and to contemplate the passing
of another year.
We elect to have a party and plan for it at the noon hour .
As stone boss it is my anointed duty and privilege to provide for the beverage.
Besides the palette of my crew is uncomplicated. They usually request a
selection of cold can domestic beverages but today they up the ante, get
inspired, and call for the makings of a punch; a New Years punch.
Yuletide punch is as old as King Cole. , Since before time, merry old souls
throughout the realm have concocted famous and infamous punches;
Some can be called memorable, usually the best ones usually are not.
Punches are strange concoctions with some of the base ingredients in use
since the time of the Neanderthal .
Some of these fermentations have been known to start wars or lead to
pillaging .
Others a little less fiery to lewd behavior and wife stealing.
Some of the worse ones have led to abstinence but we will broach that
subject another day ...
Since most our audience here is agreeable in a limited capacity I feel
safe about going ahead and giving the ok for the men to plan for a punch
and New Years party even if it is a day or so early . .
THE PUNCH scene two
Stonemasons and gravediggers however are not known for their critical taste
and this punch I fear will bear witness to that.
Tears well in my eyes as I write down the suggested ingredients.
Obscure as they are , I feel rocket scientists might recognize them as
what it took to send a man to the moon .
:
First several bottles of darkened rum are requested ;ones with sublime
names like Dirty Dick and Rusty Mary come up for discussion
It seems you can recognize their labels by the number of smiling pirates
or half naked and tattooed women that are found pasted on labels .
On their backsides (the bottles that is ) one can find maps of the Dry
Tortugas decorated with skulls and cross bones .
The fact that some of these beverages have octane ratings as high as 151
proof should tell you something about why there are the skulls and cross
bones .
.
Then comes the fruity parts . What they have called for to be added into
the coveted bowl is bottles of purple colored Triple sec, Orange bits
and slices ,fizzy water , ginger ale, Method Champagne made by the Ripple
company , bitters, lumped ice ,orange juice and something the
gravediggers call Juju but won't tell me what it is.
I won't pry , but concocting this stuff in the graveyard and throwing in
something called juju might not be a good idea .
The problem is that we see enough out here as it is ; and we certainly
don't want to see any more than we have to. Everyone nods ,but I fear its
fallen on deaf ears
.
.
I feel like a den mother when I say the holiday meal will be nothing fussy. ,
The men have called in Chinese take-outs from Long Dongs, which to me
sounds dubious but what do I know ?.
"You'll love Long Dongs sausage " they all chime
Hmmm ..and how long is Long Dongs sausage ? .
Don't ask , Don't tell comes the short answer.
Hmmm I'm getting nowhere with this line of questioning
Me ? I like it spicy besides its New years "; and anything goes ..well
almost anything
Last year it was the lampshade , this year it's Long Dongs .
All I can do is pray that the Mylanta holds out , and that the Mrs.
doesn't call me in the middle of the Long Dongs because I'm not quite sure
I can explain it all..
--
Ruth Barton
[log in to unmask]
Dummerston, VT
--
To terminate puerile preservation prattling among pals and the
uncoffee-ed, or to change your settings, go to:
<http://maelstrom.stjohns.edu/archives/bullamanka-pinheads.html>
|
