I stayed up late to watch the stories of 9 11 on the biography
channel.  Throughout the evening, I told myself that I didn't need
to watch it any more, yet something deep down inside made me feel
otherwise.  Finally, when it was time, I turned the TV on and
watched it all over again as I had six years ago.  I kept asking
myself why?  Why watch it all again?  The answer is twofold. 
First, it dawned on me that the people who died that day deserve
my respect and honor for their individual bravery.  Yes, I mean
all who died were heroes to me.  For example, just think of the
tremendous courage it took even for those who jumped to their
deaths because they had no way out.  Many died without even
knowing why, but I know why, and out of honor for them, I watched
it all again and cried again and prayed again for those who lived
and are still suffering.  I promised the dead that I will never
forget them and I won't.  As I sat once again tonight and watched
it happen all over again, as if it were yesterday, one thing
clearly came to mind, It is true.  We are at war.  What is below,
I wrote a year following the original tragedy.  It is the second,
and perhaps most important, reason why I watch it happen again
tonight.  I trust we never forget who we are and what we stand
for and I hope we never forget who did this to us as Americans. 
If we do, perhaps we who remain should not call ourselves
Americans any longer.

A year ago, I was listening to the morning news at the report of
the first plane which crashed into tower number one.  When the
second plane crashed into the second tower, I knew then it was no
accident and that we were under some sort of terrorist attack.  I
even told my wife that day that we could expect more planes now
and in the future any place in the country.  You can't, after all,
read any of Tom Clancy's books or Steven Coonts without knowing
that their are people out there that hate our way of life and will
do anything they can to destroy what they hate.  They will even
kill themselves in the process.  I can easily say I probably
listened to at least 70 or 80 hours of TV and radio that week a
year ago.  I even awakened during the night and unable to sleep,
got up and listened for hours to all the reports.  A very good
friend of mine flies for United.  I believe it was the first plane
that crashed into the first trade tower that was the flight out of
Boston to Los Angeles.  My friend flies that same Boston to L A
route all the time.  I finally got up the courage to call his home
here in Denver to ask his wife if he was home or off flying that
week.  I was so relieved when she said, "He is home.  Let me put
him on the phone."  He flew over 200 combat missions in jet
fighters in Vietnam but my friend could hardly talk on the
telephone that day he was so shaken.  The first flight he was
assigned to fly when the airlines were allowed to fly again was
the return flight from L A into Boston.  At any rate, today I
listened to TV all day once again and all evening just about.  I
often think of my oldest son now living in New Jersey and how one
time his company flew him to New York and he had to go to the top
of one of the towers to teach company employees some new software. 
In fact, he had a meeting scheduled for yesterday in the city but
the security was becoming so tight, everyone was canceling their
meetings so he canceled his.  I couldn't help think today, as I
did a year ago, my son could have easily been in one of those
towers.  All day today something was gnawing at the back of my
mind but I couldn't put my finger on it.  Yes, I cried several
times today listening to all the stories just like I did a year
ago and I prayed, too, for the families who suffered such a great
loss just as I did a year ago.  As I listened to how minute by
minute decisions were being made by our nationally elected leaders
and by the police and fire fighters and hundreds of others, I
suddenly said out loud, I sure am glad to be an American.  That's
what had been gnawing at me all day and when it finally came to
me, I literally spoke it out loud before I realized it.  I've
never fought in a war or carried a weapon or ever done anything
any more patriotic than fly an American flag outside my window.  I
can truthfully say that today, for perhaps the very first time in
my life, I honestly felt proud to be an American.  I wasn't just
proud of all the people who helped save lives a year ago as I
listened to the news coverage today and I wasn't just thankful
that it happened to somebody else and not me or my family.  I can
honestly and truthfully say today, fellow Americans and the way
they lived and died, made me proud I am one of them.  People died
in the air, on the ground, and in buildings and most died without
even knowing why.  We know why now.  they didn't die because they
were black or white or because they spoke English or Japanese or
Spanish or French.  They did not die because they were old or
young; male or female.  they didn't die because they were
religious or atheists.  They died because they were Americans.  I
believe I now have some understanding of what it really means to
be an American and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Phil.


K0NX
The Zenith Tube
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