Bob and Phil, no one should be ashamed of being afraid of the unknown. 
Remember that even Jesus was frightened of his pending suffering and 
crucifixion.

As for loss, I lost my father in 2003 and my mother in 2008.  I miss both of 
them.  You don't ever get over it, you move on with your life the way you 
know they would want you to do.
Harvey