In a message dated 10/13/1999 6:36:51 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
[log in to unmask] writes:

<< she wants control >>

Hi Tom,

First, welcome to the list.

Second, I don't want read more into your post than is actually there, but
this one statement really jumped out at me.  You are the best person in the
world to recognize just how much control your girlfriend wants.  I recognize
that you were referring to intimacy, but your statement about control really
set off a general alarm in my head.  It makes me wonder about her
motivations.  I'm not trying to put a damper on your feelings about her, but
people with disabilities have been known to be easy targets for other people
who like to be controlling.  Why wouldn't she want to entertain your
"creative" ideas, especially if they lead to a mutually satisfying
experience?

As I said though, you are the best person to assess the nature of your
relationship.  I am not in situation where I need a PCA, and I'm sure that
others will be more qualified to address that specifically.

Anyway -- welcome to the list,
Betty Alfred