Dear Doctor Science,
I recently purchased a Tesla coil at a garage sale. The guy who sold it
to me said it'd allow me to communicate with beings on other planets,
cook popcorn in less than 50 nanoseconds and bring about world peace.
Was he on the level?

-- Ward Livingston from Pueblo, Colorado

Yes, only he wasn't on your level. He is , no doubt, a highly advanced
life form on a level far about this petty plane. He can probably
communicate with beings on other planets through his dental work, and
that's why he sold you the coil.  If he's the kind of guy I've met in
Colorado, he eats his popcorn unpopped and leaves the rest to
digestion. World peace?  If everyone had a Tesla Coil, used properly we
could spend our time watching the sparks fly at home, instead of in
eastern Europe or something.