In a message dated 11/07/1999 1:31:49 PM Eastern Standard Time,
[log in to unmask] writes:

<< I was wondering how many of us have depression due to our disabilities and
 take medicin? Now I'm taking Zoloft 50mg and talk to my doctor twice a month.
  >>

I keep wondering -- for those of us who have, or have had depression -- how
much of that is due to our disabilities, or society's response to our
disabilities?

I've noticed two distinct emotional experiences (my personal anecdotal data)
that can be called depression, but I take umbrage with the patent
classification of clinical depression in one experience.  I qualify that
doubt by saying if the depression is due to society's response, then I wish
to assert my opinion that it is not entirely productive to make the depressed
person the target (e.g., "YOU are depressed.  Let's treat YOUR problem").  In
short: The buck does not stop here.

In that vein, I also wonder if a psychologist or other mental health
professional who is not in tune with disability awareness issues, and who is
not "teachable," is truly qualified to treat the patient.

I would ask you to bear with me.  My account is not about CP, but it seems
that depression is a good discussion topic and I'm hoping that this will be a
positive inclusion.

Part of my disability experience is knowing that physical change is the
constant.  As soon as I become accustomed to one "level" of disability, I
have an exacerbation and have to adjust to more loss.  Most of the time it's
not as serious a change as it was in the first year.  Nevertheless, I have
noticed that a temporary bout of depression accompanies each change.  It's a
stark reminder of an uncertain future.  That's one type of depression I
experience.  It's always temporary, and never serious in my estimation.  I
have sought treatment for that in the past, and I am glad I did.  I will seek
treatment in the future if necessary.

The second type of emotion that can come under the heading of depression is
the "bad feeling" I have due to the change in the way I am regarded in the
public eye, and by former friends.  I was part of the "other world" for 38
years, and I can safely say that I am treated differently than I was treated
before.  Learning about the wall that society seems happy to maintain has
caused me great anger.  Not knowing it existed before I was disabled causes
me great anger toward myself -- how could I have been so stupid?  How could I
have wasted all those years when I should have been fighting for the rights
of all people?  Then I remind myself that the mainstream media, and former
friends with disabilities, didn't tell me that there was a fight to be fought
-- as I tell anyone now who will listen.  Then I feel anger about that.
Sometimes that anger turns to depression, because the fact that this fight
exists -- to the degree that it must -- is absurd on the eve of a new
millennium in this our "enlightened" society.

I ask you: Is that clinical depression, or an expression of intelligence?
Cogito Ergo Doleo.  I think therefore I am depressed.  I have no intention of
medicating, and therefore suppressing, the emotion that kicks me in the butt
and makes me fight for the independence of our children with disabilities,
and our adults with disabilities who's voices have been suppressed through
forced institutionalization and lack of communication technology.  That
"depression" -- as much pain as it causes personally -- coerces me to keep
communicating to others that the technology we have today can allow the
majority, if not all of the disability community, to experience meaningful
employment, and thus hold our rightful place in society.

I'll be damned if I'll medicate that.  The target for treatment in that case,
in my opinion, is society.

Any thoughts about that?

Tribal blessings (and tribble blessings, for those of you who noticed a
previous subject  line misspelling),
Betty