The following is copied from this hysterical site:

http://www.faddiet.com/faddiet/index.html

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[log in to unmask] (Liza May)

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How to Create Your Own Fad Diet:

Note: This is especially effective if you have Doctorate degree in
something obscure like geniology. That way you can call it the "Dr.
Scardsmayo Diet". Follow this up with a book and you'll be rich.

Here are the basic ingredients you will need to create your own fad
diet:

A book that lists the nutritional values of every food under the
sun. A good idea about what foods the grocery store carries. A bag
of chips (you'll need a snack while you work). No nutritional
knowledge whatsoever. A picture of someone who was slim 5 years ago,
but is now larger. The larger person has to own an outfit that is at
least 10 years old.

Let's get Started:

Choosing the Diet Method:

When choosing the method for your fad diet you will need your book
of nutrition. Look in your book and find a measure of nutrition that
is irrelevant to everyday life. Here are some good examples of
methods for a fad diet:

"The all the potassium you want diet."
The "Potassium is killing you" diet.
"I Zinced away 50 pounds"
"Low Sodium is Low Weight"
"Polysorbate-80 pounds lighter"
"Carageenen causes obesity"

Sorry folks, but you can't use fat, carbohydrates, or fiber because
a famous Doctor has beat you to each of them.

When choosing the menu for your fad diet you will need your list of
items that they have at the grocery store. Using this list, you must
follow these rules:

Menu items cannot be carried by a normal grocery store. Mango and
Shallots used to be good examples of fad diet ingredients but may be
too common. Malt syrup might be used on bulgar wheat toast. Frozen
sliced ocra and rutabaga are good ideas to accompany an arugula
salad. Menu items must be unlikely to be kept in ones pantry. Fruits
are good candidates because they spoil. Dairy products also expire
and are a likely candidate. Frozen foods are good also because they
will tie up freezer space and prevent future purchases of ice cream.
Items should sound sort of healthy, but not really. Cottage cheese
is an excellent example of this. Saltine crackers are good. Plain
yogurt is just bland enough. Castor oil is also effective.Serving
sizes must be an incredibly small portion of an item that must be
bought in bulk. Best if this item is useless for everyday
consumption or spoils quickly.

1/8 of a pound of ground pork.
One 1/8" slice of watermellon.
1/4 cup of puffed rice.
Two teaspoons of un-milled barley.
1 teaspoon of dark corn syrup.
1/4 plaintain.

Items must be repulsive (this is what nutritionists call an appetite
suppresant). For repulsive items you can kick up your diet if you
allow people to eat tons of it. As many brussel sprouts as you want,
they are a hidden source of carageenen! 6 cans of popeye creamed
spinach. 12 oz of braized goat liver. On Thursday eat all of the
boiled plaintains you want, stuff yourself.

You certainly have a good start now. Next you will make the
schedule. Making the schedule is relatively easy.

Time Span

First pick a really short time span. Too long of a time span and
people won't be interested (too much like reality). Too short of a
timespan and you won't be able to punish people enough. Typically 3
or 4 days is enough.

Weight Reduction

Second, pick a promised weight reduction. I think most people don't
think they can lose more than 4 pounds per day, so keep it a little
less than that, but be positive. Also, give a large range of weight
loss. And put an official sounding disclaimer in there for good
measure. Here are some examples:

Lose up to 12 pounds in 3 days! (acual weight loss ranges from 8-12
pounds depending on the person, their metabolism, and the
digestability of the potassium magenate encountered).

I lost 13 pounds between Monday and Thursday and you can too! (my
experience may not be yours, however I am a very average person that
has never excelled at anything).

Follow Dr. Jingleheimerschmidts program and get down the pounds!
(Consult a doctor before starting Dr. Jingleheimerschmidts program
especially if you ever experience shortness of breath when climbing
more than 8 flights of stairs).

Plan the Menu

Finally, you plan the menu. Planning the menu involves taking each
meal and eliminate one aspect from a normal meal. Remember to use
your ingredients. Examples:

Regular Breakfast:
Glass of Milk
Piece of Toast
Plate of eggs, bacon, hashbrowns
Coffee

Fad Diet Breakfast:
Glass of Goats Milk
British water cracker
Coffee (with sugar in the raw)


Lunch:
Salad
Soup
Club sandwich with ham & turkey
Soda

Fad Diet Lunch:
1/3 of a Radicio with balsamic vinegar
Cabbage soup
Diet Creme Soda

Dinner:
Mashed Potatoes
Roast Beef
Carrots
Chocolate cake

Fad Diet Dinner:
26 ounces of Liverwurst
1/2 endive sauted in palm oil
Pineapple flavored cottage-cheese

That's it!

When you are done publish it on the internet. Use the pictures of
your weight gaining friend as an after and before picture and soon
you'll be spending $30 per month so that other people can read it.