> From: Trisha Cummings <[log in to unmask]>
> To: [log in to unmask]
> Subject: Some questions
> Date: Tuesday, May 18, 1999 7:54 AM
>
> Good Morning,

>         My friend - who lives here in Alexandria has only taken to being
in
> wheelchair in the past two years. She is running up against the
> discrimation/stigma and is naturally angry. I talk to her and let her
vent
> and she listens and gets heartburn on my behalf on the Pagan deal - it
> outrages that I can lose my child because of this. I in turn don't
> understand why her office can't be made more user friendly for her - she
has
> since retired and works with disabled in a Wildlife Program and
homeschools
> an ADHD child. How do I help her thru the anger - what good postive
things
> can I do - beyond being a good friend - there must be insights you have
and
> can share - I hope!!!

I hope I can provide a few bits of insight.  Here goes anyway.  Your friend
is still in a stage where her whole life and roles have changed.  Suddenly,
all her previous roles are gone and how to accomplishes anything now is
different.  Her previous job should have accomadated any reasonable
requests made by her.  Otherwise, it's a violation of ADA, a  federally
mandated law.  I think you are already doing what any good friend should
and that is let her vent.  Don't let her feel sorry for herself, but, let
her vent.  She should also see if she can find a good support group in her
area.  I learning to be a little hesitant in doing this because everyone
has a different experience with support groups but, it is worth a try.  She
needs to find support and services in working through redefining herself.

>         Secondly, I am on a list for us older folks and a man recently
> joined the list. He is a quadraplegic and  has been placed in a nursing
home
> by his wife of many years and hates it. He wants to go back to his home
or
> at least live independently - He is I think in Ohio. I am curious - can
you
> placed in a nursing against your will? What alternatives does he have?
How
> can we help?


No, you can't be sent to a nursing home if you don't want to unless you've
been declared incompetant.  Now, it's gets messy because, he may have
signed over rights of power of attorney and medical decisions to his wife.
A move many married couples do.  Now the other problem is finding support
at home (especially if he is a total care patient).  Medicare has
significantly cut back on home health payments so, unless he has a good
supplimentaly policy, being in a nursing home may be the only way he can
recieve the care he needs.  He may wish to contact the local Agency on
Aging and see what services he can get in an environment that is more to
his choicing.

Best of luck to all of you.




Elizabeth Thiers, OTR
email: [log in to unmask]
homepage: http://www.bv.net/~john/bethsot1.html

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