+== acb-l Message from Ann Schroeder <[log in to unmask]> ==+
        >                                      INSTRUCTIONS FOR MICROSOFT'S NEW TV
>DINNER PRODUCT
>
>  You must first remove the plastic cover.  By doing so you agree to
>  accept and honor Microsoft rights to all TV dinners.  You may not
>  give anyone else a bite of your dinner (which would constitute an
>  infringement of Microsoft's rights).  You may, however, let others
>  smell and look at your dinner and are encouraged to tell them how
>  good it is.
>
>  If you have a PC microwave oven, insert the dinner into the oven. Set
>  the oven using these keystrokes:
>          \mstv.dinn.//08.5min@50%heat//
>
>  Then enter:
>          <ms//start.cook_dindin/yummy\|/yum~yum:-)gohot#cookme.
>
>  If you have a Mac oven, insert the dinner and press start. The oven
>  will set itself and cook the dinner.
>
>  If you have a Unix oven, insert the dinner, enter the ingredients of
>  the dinner (found on the package label), the weight of the dinner,
>  and the desired level of cooking and press start.  The oven will
>  calculate the time and heat and cook the diner exactly to your
>  specification.
>
>  Be forewarned that Microsoft dinners may crash, in which case your
>  oven must be restarted.  This is a simple procedure. Remove the
>  dinner from the oven and enter
>          ms.nodamn.good/tryagain\again/again.crap.
>
>  This process may have to be repeated.  Try unplugging the microwave and
>  then doing a cold reboot. If this doesn't work,contact your hardware
>  vendor.
>
>  Many users have reported that the dinner tray is far too big, larger
>  than the dinner itself, having many useless compartments, most of
>  which are empty.  These are for future menu items.  If the tray is
>  too large to fit in your oven you will need to upgrade your
>  equipment.
>
>  Dinners are only available from registered outlets, and only the
>  chicken variety is currently produced. If you want another variety,
>  call MicrosoftHelp and they will explain that you really don't want
>  another variety. Microsoft Chicken is all you really need.
>
>  Microsoft has disclosed plans to discontinue all smaller versions of
>  their chicken dinners. Future releases will only be in the larger family
>  size.  Excess chicken may be stored for future use, but must be saved
>  only in Microsoft approved packaging.
>
>  Microsoft promises a dessert with every dinner after '98. However,
>  that version has yet to be released. Users have permission to get
>  thrilled in advance.
>
>  Microsoft dinners may be incompatible with other dinners in the
>  freezer, causing your freezer to self-defrost.  This is a feature,
>  not a bug.  Your freezer probably should have been defrosted anyway.
>
>Howard Traxler, Technology Specialist
>Traxler Enterprises
>Milwaukee, Wisconsin, U.S.A.
>
>Send private mail to <HT>, click below:
>mailto:[log in to unmask]
>Visit the <HT> web page, click below:
>http://www.execpc.com/~htraxler
>
>
>
>

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