I found this amusing.

Peter

>
>God as Programmer in chief:
>
>> Many important theological questions are answered if we think of God as
>> a Computer Programmer:
>>
>> Q: Does God control everything that happens in my life?
>> A: He could, if he used the debugger, but it's tedious to step through all
>> those variables.
>>
>> Q: Why does God allow evil to happen?
>> A: God thought he eliminated evil in one of the earlier versions.
>>
>> Q: What causes God to intervene in earthly affairs?
>> A: If a critical error occurs, the system pages him automatically and he
>> logs on from home to try to bring it up.  Otherwise things can wait until
>> tomorrow.
>>
>> Q: Did God really create the world in seven days?
>> A: He did it in six days and nights while living on cola and candy bars.
>> On the seventh day he went home and found out his girlfriend had left him.
>>
>> Q: How come the Age of Miracles Ended?
>> A: That was the development phase of the project, now we are in the
>> maintenance phase.
>>
>> Q: Who is Satan?
>> A: Satan is a MIS director who takes credit for more powers than he
>> actually possesses, so people who aren't programmers are scared of him.
>> God thinks of him as irritating but irrelevant.
>>
>> Q: What is the role of sinners?
>> A: Sinners are the people who find new an imaginative ways to mess up the
>> system when God has made it idiot-proof.
>>
>> Q: Where will I go after I die?
>> A: Onto a DAT tape.
>>
>> Q: Will I be reincarnated?
>> A: Not unless there is a special need to recreate you.  And searching
>> those tar files is a major hassle, so if there is a request for you, God
>> will just say that the tape has been lost.
>>
>> Q: Am I unique and special in the universe?
>> A: There are over 10,000 major university and corporate sites running
>exact
>> duplicates of you in the present release version.
>>
>> Q: What is the purpose of the universe?
>> A: God created it because he values elegance and simplicity, but then the
>> users and managers demanded he tack all this senseless stuff onto  it and
>> now everything is more complicated and expensive than ever.
>>
>> Q: If I pray to God, will he listen?
>> A: You can waste his time telling him what to do, or you can just get off
>> his back and let him program.
>>
>> Q: What is the one true religion?
>> A: All systems have their advantages and disadvantages, so just pick the
>> one that best suits your needs and don't let anyone put you down.
>>
>> Q: How can I protect myself from evil?
>> A: Change your password every month and don't make it a name, a common
>> word, or a date like your birthday.
>>
>> Q: Some people claim they hear the voice of God. Is this true?
>> A: They are much more likely to receive email.
>>
>> Chalapathi
>> And His
>> Four-Line
>> Signature! :-)
>
>


VICUG-L is the Visually Impaired Computer User Group List.
To join or leave the list, send a message to
[log in to unmask]  In the body of the message, simply type
"subscribe vicug-l" or "unsubscribe vicug-l" without the quotations.
 VICUG-L is archived on the World Wide Web at
http://maelstrom.stjohns.edu/archives/vicug-l.html