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Reply To: | St. John's University Cerebral Palsy List |
Date: | Sat, 5 Feb 2000 17:21:32 EST |
Content-Type: | text/plain |
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Hi Barb,
I guess people have various feelings about being asked for help, but I don't
mind. I appreciate when people are kind. What bothers me is when I say "no
thank you" and they still insist on helping. I really hate that "you WILL
let me help you" attitude. I don't see that as being helpful. I see that as
somebody using my disability as a tool for them to fulfill their personal
need to feel important. My disability is not a toy for other people to play
with.
You certainly don't seem to fit into that category though. You're just
trying to be polite. I wouldn't worry about it. They'll say "no" if they
don't need help.
People always insist on opening the door for me. This sounds weird, but
sometimes I have a psychological need to open the door myself, so I'll hang
out away from the door until they are gone and then I'll go in. Like I said,
that sounds weird -- even to me -- but that's my little idiosyncrasy. But,
95% of the time, I'll just let them hold the door open and I'm grateful for
their kindness.
Just the other day a man who held the door for me told me that once he did
that for another person in a wheelchair, and that person made him shut the
door so he could do it himself. I want to raise the public consciousness
about people with disabilities, but that seems like a rude thing to do. I
don't know. I'm kind of proud of my wheelchair skills, so it's a little
deflating to have somebody assume I can't do something when I'm perfectly
capable. But I don't want to turn around and hurt their feelings either.
I'm chatty today -- hope I said something useful...
Betty
Administrator 2 of 4. I want to be Seven of Nine, but I'm told that slot has
been taken.
In a message dated 02/04/2000 6:18:13 PM Eastern Standard Time,
[log in to unmask] writes:
<< I introduced myself on my last message. I have another question.....one I
hope isn't too stupid or ignorant. If you read my other message you know
that I have a 6 year old son with cp.
Whenever I am out shopping or doing things without my kids, I'll often offer
help to people who appear they might need it...
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