I am Katie, about to be 39, in northern California.  I have been on the list for
a few years.  I have a 7 year old son with no allergies (that we know about) and
a 5 year old daughter who is severely allergic (but not anaphylactic yet) to
casein and at least some of the other milk proteins.  She started with ear
infections and has progressed to hives, puffy red cheeks, and circles under her
eyes, all the lactose intolerant discomforts, plus the milk seems to turn her
urine acidic/toxic, and she gets what look like acid burns wherever she does not
wipe thoroughly (has anyone else experienced this? - it was really bad in diaper
days.), then on to cold symptoms and the ear infection.  In a bad incident where
I do not get Benedryl elixer into her within the first hour, she can still be
paying for the milk accident several weeks later.

This list has been invaluable to me.  I also enjoy Jane Zurkin's two books, Beth
Kidder's *The Milk Free Cookbook*, the Food Allergy Network.  I used to very much
like the "No Milk - Something to Moo about" website before it disappeared.
Unfortunately, I did not realize it was going until it was gone and so missed the
chance to make some copies.

This year, Rebecca started kindergarten.  We go to a alternative public school
where families are required to work in the classroom(s) 1 day a week (or more :-)
).  They use the extra help to do fun things like cooking once a week.  Needless
to say, I signed up immediately to be the "Cooking Coordinator" as well as
working at the cooking time.  What is interesting is that Rebecca has two other
children in her class who have severe milk allergies (one anaphylactic) and there
are no other allergies!  (There is a religious restriction against pork.)  I have
felt so useful to be able to watch over *three* children's safety as I watch over
my own's!  We have done great things like bread from scratch, individual pizzas
(I made the dough ahead), apple tarts, vegetable "stone" soup, gingerbread
people, and more.  The teacher is delightful and believes in making pictorial
recipes so that the pre-reading children can still "read" the recipes.  I would
never have chosen to do cooking if it had not been for Rebecca's allergy, and I
have had such fun.  (Although after an afternoon cooking with 12 kindergarteners,
I have sometimes headed for the Advil immediately upon getting home :-) ).

About Soy Cheese:
I have found no casein-free soy cheese (BEWARE - most varieties have casein as
the second ingredient) that tastes and melts anything like "real" cheese.
Rebecca has not had any milk products (on purpose at least) since she was 11
months old, so she doesn't remember the taste of milk and cheese.  She will eat
casein-free soy cheese plain, but does not like it made into "grilled soy cheese
sandwiches".  On the other hand, I have no idea if she would have liked grilled
cheese sandwiches if she had not had the allergy.

We have had much more success with the other imitation-milk products.  She loves
Whitewave Cultured Soy (which we call "soy yogurt") and loves chocolate and
vanilla Trader Joe's Soy-um (So-yum?) soy milk.  She likes the chocolate and
butterscotch Imagine puddings (rice-based) and the various soy "ice creams".
Until recently, both she and my son thought that "Better Than Cream Cheese" was
the only cream cheese there was.

My son loves macaroni and cheese.  For Rebecca, we make twice the pasta.  Hers is
eaten plain or with "spagetti sauce" - either my own or carefully-scrutinized
store-bought.   His is made with cheese sauce.  I usually eat some of both.  This
is one of the meals we make when my husband has to work through dinner.

Cheers, Katie