It has been cold up here lately.

I decided that these following excerpts from church bulletins sure made
me feel better.

Hope you all enjoy them,
Martin



Found in Church bulletins:

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be
recycled.  Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on
people who are not afflicted with any church.

The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregations
would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next
sunday morning.

The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the
recession.

The Low Self Esteem Group will meet Thursday at 7pm.  Please use the
back door.

The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical
accomplishment.

For those of you who have children and don*t know it, we have a
nursery downstairs.

the Reverend Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the
congregation.

The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir
will sing, *Break Forth into Joy.*

A songfest was hell at the Methodist Church Wednesday.

Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be the soloist for the morning service.
The pastor will then speak on, *It*s a Terrible Experience.*

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and
community.

The 8th graders will be presenting Shakespeare*s Hamlet in the
church basement on Friday at 7 PM.  The congregation is invited to
attend this tragedy.

The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success.  Special
thanks are due to the minister*s daughter, who labored the whole evening
at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.

Thursday night potluck supper.  Prayer and medication to follow.

Don*t let worry kill you.  Let the Church help.

The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of
David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.

This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and north ends
of the church.  Children will be baptized at both ends.

Wednesday the Ladies Liturgy Society will meet.  Mrs. Jones will
sing *Put me in my Little Bed,*  accompanied by the pastor.

Thursday at 5:M there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club.
All wishing to become Little Mothers, please see the minister in his
private study.

This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and
lay an egg on the altar.

The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and
they may be seen in the church basement Friday.

At the early evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be *What
is Hell*?  Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the Presbyterian Church.
Please use the large double door at the side entrance.

Pastor is on vacation.  Massages can be given to the church
secretary.

8 new choir robes are needed, due to the addition of several new
members and the deterioration of some older ones.

Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes.

The Senior Choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys
sinning to join the choir.

Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan who are
preparing for the girth of their first child.

The Lutheran Men*s group will meet at 6:M.  Steak, mashed potatoes,
green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.

The Associate Minister unveiled the church*s new tithing slogan last
Sunday:  *I upped my pledge - Up Yours!*