As a gummint worker, I'm not allowed to accept gifts in order to avoid the
appearance of a conflict of interest or the cultivation of undue influence.

Mostly, I get brickbats lately, though bouquets are occasionally tossed my way.

I once turned down a cherry cheesecake because of these dicta.  A very
sweet district resident wished to express her gratitude for the advice
rendered to her in the resolution of a particularly challenging design
problem related to an addition.  It was later that I learned to regret this
stalwart obeisance to the rules on my part when it was learned that she is
the doyenne of cheesecake.

There may have been a certain environmental conditioning at work in my
refusal to accept her post-service bribe.  When I took this position in
1986, I was warned not to accept any of Miss Annie B.'s cookies.  Annie B.
owns numerous rental properties in the historic district, since 1947 when
she bought the first one.  She had displayed a disturbing propensity to use
up handy-man husbands.  They died.  Mysteriously.  Always after they get
old and no longer seem to be able to get around so well.  She is on number
four.  He was here when I got here, and still around.  I wonder about this
story's veracity.  He is older now, but still getting around pretty
good...maybe it's not yet his time.  He is deaf, but very handy.  Always
working on the houses.  Kind of hard sometimes to get across to him what
needs to happen in accordance with the historic district design guidelines.

I am an expert at historic preservation pantomime.

Some people are awarded Oscar statuettes.  I aspire to receive a Marcel
Marceau statuette.  I will have it epoxied to my tombstone.

Preservation question: Are there any epoxies that are stable under
ultraviolet exposure?

____________________________________________
Dan Becker
Executive Director, Raleigh Historic Districts Commission

[log in to unmask]