Greetings, Pinheads!

As my spec writing teacher said one day, some of these comments will be
editorial in nature....

First of all, it ain't "EFS", it's EIFS.  Pronounced, according to the EIFS
industry trade association (AKA Lying Scumbag Weasel Persons), "EEFS," as in
"EEF! I seen a mouses!"  EIFS as in Exterior Insulation and Finish System.
It's styrofoam glued to sheetrock (well, over Durock in really top-of-the line
recent installations) , and the styrofoam is schmeared with a layer (between
1/16 and 1/8", absolute max) of stucco with latex or some sort of plastic gunk
(So I'm not a chemist).  This is considered to constitute a building facade.

Second of all, it's the most godawful shit ever in the history of Building
Materials, in comparison to which aluminum siding looks like Rock of Ages
Granite.  I do not make this claim lightly.

Third of all, it's the wave of the future.  Half of Arizona (including houses
bought by architects, banks, and damn near everything else  built in the past
20 years) is made of this crap.....which actually in Arizona ain't so bad.
But that's because there is for all practical purposes no precipitation .

The engineers for whom I work investigated this merde (more soothing to the
easily offended) about 20 years after it had been installed in a 7 or 8 story
senior citizens housing complex in New Bedford. MA (where there is precip,
unlike AZ).  The building leaked from the time it was built until they tore
the prefab EIFS panels off it, jumped up and down on them, spit on them and
threw the panels away.  Then replaced them with some sort of metal panel
system.   Needless to say, the manufacturer said the design and installation
were bad; the installer said the design and product was bad, and the architect
said the product and installation were bad.  They were probably all right, but
in the meantime the Commonwealth of MA went after God Knows Who and ain''t
using this fine system anymore.

A big part of the problem is that it's impossible to flash this stuff and you
can't reliably keep water out of it in the first place (unless it's someplace
where there isn't any water). The manufacturers keep coming up with new
systems of  installing it....not that there was anything wrong with the
methods they used to recommend, of course, or that there was anything wrong
with the old materials they used to sell.

The above is a short disquisition; don't get me started.  Needless to say, the
mfrs have corrected everything (not that there was anything wrong before), and
as for any alleged prior deficiencies, these were due to poor design and
installation.

The Disney Hotels in Fla by the hotshot architects are made of this stuff, by
the way, providing us another reason to prefer quaint B&B's with bathrooms
down the halls...

All for now.

Ralph