21st century folks
by Joe Kovacs
WorldNetDaily.com News Editor


Every once in a while, something strange happens that just
makes me shake my head in total disbelief. Well, something so
bizarre happened here at WorldNetDaily the other night that I
feel compelled to share it with you.

So, there I was sitting at my desk, scouring the newspapers of
the planet on the Web, looking for news to post in the morning
edition of WND. My phone rang, and that's when I slipped into
"The Twilight Zone."

When I answered, I pretty much knew right away I was about to
deal with a telemarketer. You can always tell when one calls,
because there's always a short period of silence on the other
end, until some clown realizes you've actually picked up the
phone.

A man finally got on the line and proceeded to go through his
spiel, telling me how I qualified for all sorts of special
discounts on magazines.

"I'm sorry, sir," I told him. "I read all my newspapers and
magazines online."

There was a brief silence.

"We don't carry that one," he told me.

I knew instantly he completely misunderstood me, so I tried to
make it as plain as day for him.

"You don't understand me, sir. I don't subscribe to any
newspapers or magazines. I read them all on the Internet."

Another silence.

"What is the Internet?" he asked.

I was totally dumbfounded, since I didn't know if this guy was
kidding me, or just living in some kind of a bomb shelter for
the last few years -- sort of like Brendan Fraser in that movie
"Blast From the Past."

I first thought maybe he just wasn't hearing me correctly, or
perhaps he was a foreigner, though he didn't seem to have any
accent.

"Sir, do you speak English?" I asked. When he confirmed that he
did, I asked if he lived in the United States, and if so, which
state.

"Montana."

Now, I haven't had many dealings with people in Montana, but I
know the Internet does exist there. I even went to my list of
favorite places on my computer, and told him at least five or
six large cities where I could read online newspapers, and the
man said he recognized  The Missoulian in Missoula, Mont.

But he did not let up with his question: "What is the Internet?"

It's a bit unusual for me to be at a loss for words, but I
really began to have some trouble finding the right phrases to
relay to this man what the Internet actually is. How does one
go about describing it to someone who doesn't have a clue? If
only Al Gore were there beside me to help explain his baby.

"When were you born, sir?" I asked, as I tried to gauge a little
bit about him.

"In the '60s," he answered.

Great, so was I, so I figured we had at least something in
common.

"Have you ever heard of companies like  Yahoo! or  Amazon.com?"

"No," he said, as I sat there with my jaw rugburnt from having
dropped to the floor so quickly.

"How about Microsoft?" I asked with a slight sense of
desperation.

"Yeah, that's a computer company, right?" he retorted.

Whew, finally making some progress here. I figured just a little
bit more information about him, and I could put the answer into
his terms. Keep in mind I am by no means some kind of technical
computer geek who knows a lot about electronic hardware. (I'm
just your regular kind of geek.) In fact, it was only three
years ago that the pond behind my home in Jupiter Farms, Fla.,
was beckoning me to toss my computer into it. I can't tell you
how many times slow Net connections and utter frustration
almost led me to quench the pond's appetite.

"Do you have a television, sir?" I asked.

"Well, there's an old black-and-white one in the bus, but it
doesn't really work," he said.

"The bus?" I asked in a puzzled tone.

"Yeah, I've been living in a bus with a bunch of Grateful Dead
fans since I was a kid. I also have a cassette player."

Suddenly, the clouds lifted, and I was beginning to get a clear
sense of how it was possible for some people moving into the
third millennium to be oblivious to something as ubiquitous as
the Internet.

"I really like the Grateful Dead, and also Greg Allman," he
said.

It was then I knew it wouldn't do any good to get really
technical, explaining the ins and outs of e-mail, e-commerce,
instant messaging, and research.

So, to the telemarketer from Montana, and to all those not quite
sure what the Internet is in the year 2001, here's a response
you might be able to grasp: The Internet is a TV kind of place
you can visit with a computer that allows you to groove with
the Grateful Dead and Greg Allman any time you wish.

His response?

"All right, I'm definitely gonna check into that!"

Maybe I should be the one in marketing.


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