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Thanks to all my listmates for the helpful suggestions, great advice,
and caring words.  The short version of my question was how to keep
cross contamination from occurring in condiments, jellies, peanut
butters, etc.  I received many responses and I'll try to summarize all
but if I leave someone's out please accept my sincerest apologies.  We
haven't decided which idea will work best for our new family yet but we
have until July 24th. We will be married the 11th and honeymooning in
Edmonton, Canada, until then. :-)

Many people said that they have separate containers of stuff in their
families.  One for GF and one for non-GF.  One big advantage is that
babysitters may not know the "House Rules" and would double dip if only
one container is used.  Clearly marked containers would help if
babysitters are around.  There are various ways to identify the
containers:  Labels, typed or written on with waterproof pens or
permanent markers; names taped on; colored stickers;  rubber bands;
same product in different kinds of containers with one of the containers
known to always simbolize GF; one marked with initial of celiac and one
marked with initial of celiac with a line through it to show it's not
for that person; or label one "bad" and one "good" (which all depends on
which side you are on.  In the family that does this, I think the
husband marking these likes to tease his wife.).

Use pats of butter.  Obtained due to being individually wrapped,
presliced (There is a tool that can do this.  It's the one that slices
eggs.), butter in patties from Costco, freeze all but a pound at a time.

Jam slips easily off the spoon it is taken out of the jar with so the
spoon doesn't have to touch the bread.  Some others also plop mayo and
peanut butter on the bread without the spoon touching the bread.  (Terry
from OH, you made me laugh.  I can just imagine your husband flinging
these condiments onto the bread. :-)  )

Many had a suggestion so easy that I was amazed we hadn't thought of it
yet ourselves.  Take the condiment out of the jar with a spoon, place it
on a clean section of the dinner plate, and then the knife takes it off
the plate and spreads it on the bread.  Many told me that this is the
way it was done in the Victorian days and was considered proper
etiquette at that time.  I think that now we know there was a good
reason for doing it that way.

Three utensils may be used.  One to spoon the condiment out of the jar,
one to scrape the condiment off the spoon and onto the bread, and then
the knife to spread the condiment.  (Remember that the second utensil
can't touch the non-GF product.)

A large container of a condiment may be purchased. Then divide it into
two smaller containers.  Label each, one GF and one non-GF.  Something I
thought of while reading my email to decrease spoilage is when the
non-celiac family members have used up their share of the product, buy
more product, give the celiac's unused product to the family to use up
quickly, and the celiac gets the new stuff.  That kind of rotates the
supply.

Some families keep all the GF stuff on one shelf in the refrigerator or
cupboard.  A couple families use two different sets of cookware.  Lots
use two separate toasters.  One family has separate cutting boards and
sponges too.  Use a toaster oven but wash rack each time before cooking
GF in it .

A couple families have totally gluten free kitchens.  (I've only tried
one GF bread that I liked and it was made from a bread machine that is
old and outdated.  Of course!  Otherwise, I think we could do it.)

I learned a new word, double dipping.  That is prohibited in many
families.  It is only a problem, of course, depending on the method of
non-contamination used.

When getting peanut butter out (or any other condiment), take all you
need the first time or get a clean knife for the next dip out of the
jar.

When making lunches, make the gluten free sandwiches first, then the
same knife can be used to make the others.

Remember when cooking, the condiment needs to come out of the celiac's
jar to ensure GF.  So when buying a large container of a product, don't
give the celiac a small amount and give the rest to the gluten eating
family members because then you may not have enough to cook GF with.

Use babyfood jars to stock your desk and refrigerator at work with safe
foods.   Condiments can also be put in these smaller jars to keep them
GF at home and are easily tossed in a purse or sack for on-the-go
families.

For large dinners with guests, the celiac has a separate dish of the
condiment set at their plate which doesn't get passed around.

After making a GF dip, remember to put aside some for the celiac in the
group if non-GF stuff could be dipped into the main batch.


These were all wonderfully helpful hints.  Thanks to everyone for
sharing their expertise with us.  My fiance has been diagnosed for 27
years but never knew about the cross contamination and then once he did
know, he just didn't worry about it.  I hate to be mean but he's
important to me so now he will pay attention to it.  I'm finding that
there are a lot of things to watch out for and am becoming a pro at
ingredient labels.  Many people told me in their emails that it just
takes practice and then it will become second nature.  I'm sure that it
will.  He's definitely worth it.

Thanks again for all of your support.

Dona from Wyoming