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Hi Fellow Listers! My thanks to the many of you who reponded to my query
about how to handle first date. I got some great advice, and some important
things to keep in mind:

The most common reccommendation was to tell my date up front if we plan a
meal; many people also said that if he couldn't handle it, he wasn't
someone I wanted to pursue a relationship with anyway. (Great point). It
might even help to screen out unthoughtful men, and I was reminded that my
health is more important than the feelings of my date. Of course this does
not mean giving gory details, and I should not give "celiac 101" unlesss he
seems genuinely interested. This was closest to what I was thinking, and it
was great to hear that others had taken this route and been successful.

A close second was the compromise position, eat at restaurants I know are
safe (have a few in mind to suggest), call ahead and speak with the chef,
or order plain foods, and say nothing. The only part about this I didn't
like was saying nothing...celiac is a big, albeit not controlling part of
my life,a nd I think it should be mentioned. But knowing a couple of sdafe
places to suggest is a great idea.

Other suggestions that lages far behind the top 2 included:

Go to a restaurant, then excuse myself to the restroom and give my card to
the waitress (I don't think this one is for me)

Go for coffee for a first date-I like this, puts the focus on conversation,
not food, and if it's a lousy date it's over faster!

Choose non-food options for a first date-museums, concerts, etc-I liked
this one too. One of the reasons I'm now single is that my ex was unwilling
to do these things, so i might as well start doing them with dates!

Say only "I have allegies", which I though resonable for a first foray into
the topic, or "I'm allergic to wheat" which I found too limited.

Invite him to my place for dinner: this is ok for a later date, but in this
day and age, first dates happen in public places, at least for me (I'm from
NY)

Eat before the date and then just have a salad: Sorry, to me this was
chickening out, and I don't want my first impression to be that I am one of
those women who picks at food. MAy work for others.

Someone suggested that I go back and read the thread on b usiness
dinners-good advice, and  did contribute some advice to it-guess I should
try listening to myself sometimes!

Some people suggested that the topic of sprue can be a good icebreaker, or
a way to find out if he is at all health-conscious. Good point, although as
a former Drakes Cakes semi-addict I don't want someone who thinks they have
no redeeming values (C'mon, they tasted great!).

Best line of advice: If you don't treat the situation as awkward, chances
are your date won't feel awkward either!


So off I go into the wild world of dating, armed with good advice from
fellow listers...I hope this is helpful to all the others who posted their
concerns of the same topic to me. Happy dating to all of us!

MArne in NJ