These should bring a smile!!! The following are the top three
  >> winners of a Most Embarrassing Moments Contest in the "New
  >> Woman Magazine."
  >
  >> 1.) While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler
  >> decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was
  >> finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of
  >> disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if
  >> she did not start behaving "right now", she would be
  >> punished.  To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in
  >> a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right
  >> now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last
  >> night!"
  >> The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.
  >> Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up
  >> the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my
  >> daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed
  >> behind me were screams of laughter...
  >> Amy Richardson; Stafford,Virginia
  >>
  >> --------------------------------------------------------
  >> 2.) It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was
  >> living at home, but my parents had gone out for the evening,
  >> so I invited my girlfriend over for a romantic night alone.
  >> As we lay in bed after making love, we heard the telephone
  >> ring downstairs. I suggested to my girlfriend that I give her
  >> a piggyback ride to the phone. Since we didn't want to miss
  >> the call, we didn't have time to get dressed. When we got to
  >> the bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly came on and a
  >> whole crowd of people yelled, "SURPRISE!!!" My entire family,
  >> aunts, uncles,Grandparents, cousins and all my friends were
  >> standing there. My girlfriend and I were frozen in a state of
  >> shock and embarrassment for what seemed like an eternity.
  >> Since then, no one in my family has planned a surprise party again ...
  >> Tim Cahill; Poughkeepsie, New York
  >>
  >> ---------------------------------------------------------
  >> 3.) One of the funniest "most-embarrassing-moment" stories
  >> I've come upon in a long time was about a lady who picked up
  >> several items at a discount store. When she finally got up to
  >> the checker, she learned that one of her items had no price
  >> tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the
  >> intercom and boomed out for all the store to hear, "PRICE
  >> CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX, SUPERSIZE." That was bad enough, but
  >> somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word
  >> "TAMPAX" for "THUMBTACKS."
  >> In a businesslike tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom. "DO YOU
  >> WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN
  >> WITH
  >> A HAMMER???"
  >> ---------------------------------------------------------
  >> 4.) A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the
  >> class was squirming around, scratching his crotch and not
  >> paying attention. She went back to find out what was going
  >> on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just
  >> recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy. The teacher
  >> told him go down to the principal's office, he was to phone
  >> his mother, and ask her what he should do about it. He did it
  >> and he returned to the classroom, where he sat down in his
  >> seat. Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the
  >> room. She went back to investigate only to find him sitting
  >> at his desk with his penis hanging out. "I thought I told you
  >> to call your mom." she screamed. "I did," he said,"and she
  >> told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come
  >> and pick me up from school..."


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