Hi. All!
Greetings from Co.Kildare, Ireland.
I have received a reported sighting of
John C.Pavao in a McDonalds in Vermont
a few weeks ago. He was dining with Elvis
and Lord Lucan. While Elvis and Lucan were
eating rings round them John opted for the
new McDonalds meal of the day, an ear shaped
Tyson macburger without any dressing. Elvis was
heavily disguised as Howard Hughes reckoning
that since Howard was a recluse no one would
know what he looked like. But he didn't fool my
source who could easily identify Elvis.
John was concerned at the size of Elvis and decided
to try and convert him to lowcarb. "Have you ever heard
of the Neanderthin" John enquired of Elvis. "Sure have"
answered Elvis. "I played a gig there once; a great audience
those Dutch", he continued.
"No", said John. "Neanderthin is all about living close to
nature. Going around with no clothes on or perhaps just
a loin cloth. It's about being on the prowl waiting to pounce
on whatever moves and breathing in clear fresh air", John said.
"You've got it wrong", replied Elvis. "That was Woodstock in 1968
but the air was pretty smokey as far as I can recall".
John, then tried a different approach. "Would you consider trying
a Paleodiet", he asked Elvis. "I don't think so since I don't have
Polio", answered Elvis. "It sounds faddy to me. I knew a guy once
who went on a Tubercullosis diet and ended up in a sanitorium",
he continued.
Realising he was getting nowhere with Elvis and reckoning that
Elvis was going to be a "junkie fooder" forever, John turned and
said: "How would you like to get your teeth into my two buns,
Elvis?".
"We'll have none of that, Pav", Elvis replied deepening his voice
to the "third ball" level. "I mean my burger buns", replied John.
"Sure, baby, I knew what you meant", replied a relieved Elvis.
Lord Lucan never uttered a word throughout all of this. In fact,
nobody has heard a word from Lucan since he murdered his
children's nanny in England in 1974, and then went missing.
Lucan was sitting there reading a book entitled "Murder most
Foul". It was about the massacre of 10,000 chickens during
the making of a Hitchcock movie in the fifties. According to
the book, Edgar Hoover hushed it all up because he was afraid
he would receive a battery(oops) of complaints from the public.
Now that I think of it maybe the book was called "Murder most Fowl".
Lucan closed the book, stood up from the table, nodded at
John and Elvis and left the restaurant. Outside he mounted
his horse, Shergar, and rode off into the sunset. Okay it was
11.45 pm but you have to put these things in for dramatic
effect.
Such is the size of the Kings midrif John decided to call him
Pelvis. Anyway Pav and Pelvis left McDonalds and headed
back to John's cave where John introduced Pelvis to his wife.
(John's wife, that is) The three of them got on great and sat
watching the new episodes of the Flintstones, starring Jimmy
Stewart as Fred and Grace Kelly as Wiiiiiiilma. This is the first
time the two have starred opposite each other since "Rear Window"
in 1954.
All the above information comes from a reliable source. It's from a
66 year old man called Mike. He was only 16 when he witnessed
the Roswell alien crash. So now you can really believe everything
in this post.
Kind regards,
Gatsby.
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