------- Forwarded Message Follows -------
Date: Fri, 18 Apr 1997 13:46:51 -0400
From: "Dale Robin & J.T. Lockman" <[log in to unmask]>

Nancy Newlin wrote:
>
> Just looking for some support and ideas for how to cope
> on an emotional level.  Maybe I need to grieve my loss
> in some way??
>
> Thanks in advance,
> Nancy
Dear Nancy,  I went through a slightly different, but related process in
realizing that my baby could not eat the "normal" foods that children
eat.  Always having been careful about my older son's diet, I was
accustomed to packing snacks and meals wherever and whenever we went,
but I also had the luxury of picking up a snack, or ordering him a meal
in a restaurant if need be.  With my younger boy, whose reaction to
dairy so incapacitated his digestive system that he stopped growing for
many months and was diagnosed as a "failure to thrive" child, I have to
be prepared for every possible food eventuality every time we left our
home.  I found myself avoiding all the wonderful, meandering "field
trips" through woods and town that I so savored with my older, and with
the younger when he was still nursing and could eat on the go.

Slowly, but surely, our new routine became routine...that is, I always
have a bag packed to last us for several snacks and a light meal.  Every
day I make up drinks to take along, whether it's to the backyard or
hours away.  It's true, our days are not as "spur of the moment" as they
once were.  But, our little boy is finally starting to grow and gain,
and his development and disposition are better than they have been since
he started eating food at six months.  He's two, now.  All of our
various providers doubt that he'll ever tolerate dairy well, although
perhaps in the future any tiny mistake won't send him into a weeks-long
tailspin of malabsorption, painful tummy, and weight loss... and worse.
But we don't know

I look ahead to the school years and wonder about birthday parties...no
pizza...no ice cream (tho' he likes Tofutti)...about how he will feel
different and might resent it.  I am home as a full time Mom, now, and
take the time to prepare foods for him...to read the labels and do the
research.  But our one-income life can't last for too long, as we are
depleting our savings, and OY! you should see my soy milk bill every
month!!  Will I always have the time to attend to his needs so
carefully?  It is hard in our society, where there is delicious
temptation around every corner.  As a person who struggles with weight
issues myself, I understand the unpleasant sense of feeling deprived.
But perhaps your boyfriend and other support people in your life can
help you reflect on and celebrate the JOY of FEELING WELL!  One thing I
know about this process we are all going through, either for ourselves
or for/with a loved one...the payoff (feeling well, being well) is SO
worth it!!  Best wishes, Nancy!   Dale Robin Lockman