Good word!!!!  thanks for sharing, and it is indeed the truth, it is as
though negativity grows, one thought becomes two, and so on and so on it
goes until we feel almost like we are drowning with no life preserver.

I truly do appreciate all of you, your kind words andprayers really
helped, I feel better today  so much better than last night.
Iwent today and paid bills with my daughter, and it is good toknow they
are taken care of.  While I could worry about when they are due again, I
choose tosimply say "Thank You Father, that you have given me what I
needed for today, encouraging words from friends, and money to meet our
current needs.


----- Original Message -----
From: "BD" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Friday, November 28, 2003 11:49 AM
Subject: Re: feeling sad


> Rhonda,
>
> I certainly cannot claim to know exactly what you are feeling, but as
best
> I can, I can ponder on the things you've  mentioned, put myself in
> them,  and stack them up as you too have mentioned in your note. You
know
> it is  sometimes weird. We can go through many things and sometimes we
are
> not bothered as much, but then there are times in which we go through
> various things and we feel like a lone person stranded on an island.
We
> start to doubt the very situation we are in, did we make a mistake in
> choices leading up to where we are? What could we have done different
to
> prevent it? We begin to flood are minds with "what ifs" and "yeah if
we'd
> have only done this". and etc.  We then  come back to thinking on our
> situation and it seems even worse and before we know it, things seem
out of
> control. If that sounds familiar it is only because I've done it and
likely
> everyone on the list has done so as well sooner or later, and if they
> haven't, they likely will at one point or other in life. Hopefully
not, but
> likely so. If you look at my description above, you see something
> missing?  We are to think on those things of good report, holy,
righteous,
> good things. Sometimes we find it hard to get our mind set in that
mode I
> know. We are to focus on God, his Word, his faithfulness, and sitting
on
> that threshold of focusing on that, while the things of which we are
> worried about continue on, we are pressed to almost feel guilty for
letting
> it go, as though we are owner of those responsibilities as well as
their
> correction. And we are meant to be good stewards, but there are times
in
> which we have done, are doing, and plan to do as much as we can to
rectify
> it, and that does not seem enough. Although sitting on the threshold
> of  letting those concerns we have of finances, credit, rent, car
payment,
> hospital costs, not to mention Ben's health which is most important of
all,
> when we stand with them to our back, and walk through the door towards
> focusing on God, his faithfulness and all he promised, we begin to
realize
> that we haven't forsaken those concerns at all, but relinquished
ownership
> of them rightfully to God, and are again a steward, a caretaker of
those
> things per direction of God. He tells us that all things work for the
good
> of those who love him. Of course we know that doesn't mean all good
things
> will happen to us, it means that all things, good or bad, that occur
in
> this world, will eventually be turned for the good of those who love
him.
> It can be difficult to see that transition coming if we focus so much
on
> the problems, but if we stand in the hope of his promise to turn it
all for
> good, then we begin to change our focus and look for good things,
slight as
> they may seem at the time, but slivers of good things in the midst of
a
> troubled time, and we will then see  that sliver grow and notice we
are
> overcoming the situation. I guess the important thing is to stop the
mind
> from ravaging your thoughts and negating what God's word has to say,
> despite what conditions and forecasts are predicted in the mind. Of
course
> that doesn't mean to be foolish and purposefully do things to fuel the
> fire, which I know you know, but I'd be remiss to not say anyway.
Paul,
> not Paul of NT, New Testament, but Paul of SC, South Carolina, did a
> nice  job of outlining the practical. If we do not know what we are
facing,
> sometimes we paint it worse than it is. However it is, we need to face
it
> knowing the above, that God will provide. Things will work out, and
things
> will pass on and one day, you and Ben will be looking back at now, and
see
> how you made it. Life sure can be like a roller coaster with hills of
good
> times riding high, and dips and turns where things are a challenge,
and a
> few loops to turn us upside down, but we are  not at the mercy  of
> mechanics, we are at the mercy of God, who ought be the focus of our
> thoughts and prayers at such times. I do not say this to say you are
not
> praying, I know better, but I know you are down, and lonely. Seems I
> remember you mentioning you met a lady who you befriended there, a
fellow
> blind person? Perhaps you can meet up with her? I'm trying to think of
who
> I know in that area. I know a lady in Pennsylvania but not sure where
she
> lives. I see her pretty sporadically but I'll make a point to try to
catch
> up with her on the net or email her to see  if she lives nearby. I
remember
> when I was born again, and gave my life and concerns to God, what a
feeling
> to know all I carried on my shoulders was lifted. I felt my concerns I
> faced were not just mine, but if I prayed for God's guidance and did
what I
> thought he wanted based off my heart pointing towards him, he'd honor
that
> and I no longer felt it was my responsibility to keep the boat afloat,
but
> simply row it according to his direction.  I think we over simplify or
> gloss over the fact there were only to men who physically and
literally
> walked on water. One being Jesus and the other Peter. Peter did OK
until he
> saw the waves and conditions around him and took his eyes and focus
off
> Jesus. He told Jesus that if it was him out there to bid him to come
to
> him. Jesus did and out he went. He actually did it, defied what he
might
> naturally expect to happen to him physically and literally in that
> situation, but he did it because he was focused on Jesus. He then got
away
> from thinking and focusing on Jesus and focused on the waves and etc.
and
> started to sink and screamed "Lord save me". Jesus did save him with a
> rebuike on his faith simultaneously. No matter what things look like
around
> you, no matter what others that do not believe might say in your
company,
> what ever things look like in other people's lives, believers or
> non-believers, none of that matters. All that matters is  your focus
on God
> and rely on him to help you through your situation in life by your
faith
> and trust in him. I do pray that this situation will turn Ben closer
to God
> and not away, that your faith will be a support, encouragement, and
guide
> for him. I pray that his foot,  will heal faster than expected, that
his
> diabetes is healed  and until that    manifest physically, that he be
> wise  in his care of it giving prevention as we know medically. I pray
that
> his thoughts are not over run with responsibility, and hopelessness,
> because there is hope, things will turn around, I pray he has the mind
set
> of Peter when he walked out on the water, and if he  is unable to do
that
> then pray he calls out to God for safety. I pray as well for you for
peace
> of mind, for loneliness to be satisfied and strength, and joy in the
midst
> of your trial. For any form of depression to be gone.
>
> Brad