Some old, some new.
text of forwarded message follows:
>From: Hand In Hand <[log in to unmask]>
>
>*A SPECIAL KIND OF HUMOR*
>
>*LOT'S WIFE *The Sunday School teacher was
>describing how Lot's wife looked back and turned
>into a pillar of salt, when little Jason
>interrupted, "My Mummy looked back once while
>she was driving," he announced triumphantly,
>"and she turned into a telephone pole!"
>
>*GOOD SAMARITAN* A Sunday school teacher was
>telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan.
>
>She asked the class, "If you saw a person lying
>on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?"
>
>A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, "I think I'd throw up."
>
>
>*DID NOAH FISH? *A Sunday school teacher asked,
>"Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark?"
>
>"No," replied Johnny. "How could he, with just two worms."
>
>*HIGHER POWER *A Sunday school teacher said to
>her children, "We've been learning how po
>powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a Higher Power.
>
>Can anybody tell me what it is?"
>
>One child blurted out, "Aces!"
>
>
>*MOSES AND THE RED SEA *Nine-year-old Joey was
>asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday School.
>
>"Well, Mum, our teacher told us how God sent
>Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to
>lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he
>reached the Red Sea, he had his army build a
>pontoon bridge and all the people walked across
>safely. Then he radioed headquarters for
>reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the
>bridge and all the Israelites were saved."
>
>"Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?" his Mother asked.
>
>"Well, no, Mum, but, if I told it the way the
>teacher did, you'd never believe it!"
>
>
>*THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD *A Sunday School
>teacher decided to have her young class memorise
>one of the most quoted passages in the Bible� *Psalm
>23*.
>
>She gave the youngsters a month to learn the chapter.
>
>Little Rick was excited about the task but he
>just couldn't rremember the Psalm. *
>
>After much practice, he could barely get past the first line.
>
>On the day that the kids were scheduled to
>recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation, Ricky was so nervous.
>
>When it was his turn, he stepped up to the
>microphone and said proudly, "The Lord is my
>Shepherd, and that's all I need to know."
>
>
>*UNANSWERED PRAYER *The preacher's five-year-old
>daughter noticed that her father always paused
>and bowed his head for a moment before starting his sermon.
>
>One day, she asked him why.
>
>"Well, Honey," he began, proud that his daughter
>was so observant of his messages. "I'm asking
>the Lord to help me preach a good sermon."
>
>"How come He doesn't answer it?" she asked.
>
>
>*BEING THANKFUL *A Rabbi said to a precocious
>six-year-old boy, "So your mother says your
>prayers for you each night? That's very commendable. What does she say?"
>
>The little boy replied, "Thank God he's in bed!"
>
>
>*UNTIMELY ANSWERED PRAYER *During the minister's
>prayer one Sunday, there was a loud whistle from one of the back pews.
>
>Tommy's mother was horrified.
>
>She pinched him into silence and, after church,
>asked, "Tommy, whatever made you do such a thing?"
>
>Tommy answered soberly, "I asked God to teach me to whistle, and He did!"
>
>
>*TIME TO PRAY *A pastor asked a little boy if he
>said his prayers every night.
>
>"Yes, Sir." the boy replied.
>
>"And, do you always say them in the morning, too?" the pastor asked.
>
>"No sir," the boy replied. "I ain't scared in the daytime"
>
>
>*ALL MEN / ALL GIRLS *When my daughter, Kelli,
>said her bedtime prayers, she would bless every
>family member, every friend, and every animal (*current and past*).
>
>For several weeks, after we had finished the
>nightly prayer, Kelli would say, "And all girls."
>
>This soon became part of her nightly routine, to include this closing.
>
>My curiosity had the better of me and I asked
>her, "Kelli, why do you always add the part about all girls?"
>
>Her response, "Because everybody always finish
>their prayers by saying 'All Men'!"
>
>
>*SAY A PRAYER* Little Johnny and his family were
>having Sunday dinner at his Grandmother's house.
>
>Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served.
>
>When Little Johnny received his plate, he started eating right away.
>
>"Johnny! Please wait until we say our prayer." said his mother.
>
>"I don't need to," the boy replied. "Of course,
>you do" his mother insisted. "We always say a
>prayer before eating at our house." "That's at
>our house." Johnny explained. "But this is
>Grandma's house and she knows how to cook!"
text of forwarded message ends:
John
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