These are very fine.  Keep sending them to us.
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Pat Ferguson" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Thursday, July 31, 2014 12:10 PM
Subject: Bible Humor Questions and Answers


> Bible humor? really!
>
> Q.  Who was the greatest financier in the Bible? A.  Noah.  He was 
> floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
>
> Q.  Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible? A.  Pharaoh's 
> daughter.  She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little 
> prophet.
>
> Q.  What kind of man was Boaz before he got married? A.  Ruth-less.
>
> Q.  Who was the first drug addict in the Bible? A.  Nebuchadnezzar.  He 
> was on grass for seven years.
>
> Q.  What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible? A.  Jehovah drove Adam 
> and Eve out of the Garden in Fury.  A.  David's Triumph was heard 
> throughout the land.  A.  Honda...bbc the apostles were all in one Accord. 
> A.  2 Cor.  4-8 describes going out in service in a Volkswagen Beetle: "We 
> are pressed in every way, but not cramped beyond movement."
>
> Q.  Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible? A.  Samson.  He brought 
> the house down.
>
> Q.  Where is the first baseball game in the Bible? A.  In the big inning, 
> Eve stole first, Adam stole second.  Cain struck out Abel, and the 
> Prodigal Son came home.  The Giants and the Angels were rained out.
>
> Q.  How did Adam and Eve feel when expelled from the Garden of Eden? A. 
> They were really put out.
>
> Q.  What is one of the first things that Adam and Eve did after they were 
> kicked out? A.  They really raised Cain.
>
> Q.  What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived 
> in Eden? A.  Your mother ate us out of house and home.
>
> Q.  The ark was built in 3 stories, and the top story had a window to let 
> the light in, but how did they get light to the bottom 2 stories? A.  They 
> used floodlights.
>
> Q.  Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible? A.  David.  He 
> rocked Goliath to sleep.
>
> Q.  Why was Goliath so surprised when David hit him with a slingshot? A. 
> The thought had never entered his head before.
>
> Q.  What do they call pastors in Germany? A.  German Shepherds.
>
> Q.  What is the best way to get to Paradise? A.  Turn right and go 
> straight.
>
> Q.  Which servant of Jehovah was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the 
> Bible? A.  Moses.  Because he broke all 10 commandments at once.
>
> Q.  Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy? A.  The area around 
> the Jordan.  The banks were always overflowing.
>
> Q.  How do we know that Job went to a chiropractor? A.  Because in Job 
> 16:12 we read, "I had come to be at ease, but he proceeded to shake me up 
> and he grabbed me by the back of the neck and proceeded to smash me."
>
> Q.  Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible? A.  When 
> Joseph served in Pharaoh's court.
>
> Q.  What is the first recorded case of constipation in the Bible? A.  It's 
> in Kings, where it says that David sat on the Throne for forty years.
>
> Q.  Which Bible character had no parents? A.  Joshua, son of Nun.
>
> Q.  Why didn't Noah go fishing? A.  He only had two worms!
>
> Q.  How do we know that they played cards in the ark? A.  Because Noah sat 
> on the deck.
>
>
> Thanks much.
>
> Many Blessings,
>
> Pat Ferguson
> "I can Do all Things Through Christ Who Strengthens Me." Phillippians 
> 4:13.