Andrew,
I was sighted, and then Retinitis Pigmentosa started to put its moves on me
when I was in my mid-20's, robbing sight and also my confidence, and my
personality really.

At the time I'd just bought 40-acres of land across from my dad's place,
bought an older but very nice mobile home, had it moved on the land and
all... I forgot to mention I had to clear cut the land for a driveway and
all, it was totally wooded.

After all that work, we decided it would be better to move to town for
convenience with my vision issue. To town meant to a town of about 26,000
people, no bus service. I still rode bike so that was good.

To make it sort of short here, which is relative to my former babblings
*grin*  I attended an NFB Center in Minneapolis. Now, let's just get this
one out in the open right off. I'm not a joiner. I think NFB and ACB are
great organizations and each has their pluses and minuses, so I'm not
favoring either. That said, I found the NFB Center a huge invaluable help to
my adjustment to a new way of life. It really helped my confidence as much
as my skill to negotiate life. I specifically sought out blind people doing
blind training because in my mind who else better to lern from.

I also had a family at this point. I left my two young kids and wife back
home 5-hours away.

I'm not ashamed to say the day they left me at my apartment that August
afternoon, I watched my wife drive away, walking in the apartment, knelt
down and balled like a baby against the back of the couch.

Not for me as much as I knew my wife was probably balling in the car and two
kids not understanding why dad didn't get in the car to go home too.

Crying is not a sign of weakness my friend, on the contrary, a man that can
cry is just a brave soul that is hurting, but he is strong enough to show it
in front of others. So let it rain across your cheeks, and when the streams
are still wet, put a smile between them knowing you just took the first step
towards freedom *smile*.

Moving within a city is a personal preference, and depending on your family
support, level of independence you want, and etc.; it can be a very good
thing.

After 20 plus -years of living as a blind person I still get frustrated at
things, but they no longer shut me down like it once did.

I've been to the faith healers, I've been told it's my faith that lacks
which lets me continue being blind, I've been told its Satan, I've heard it
all; and let me tell you buddy, we live in a fallen world where stuff
happens. I didn't do anything to  cause blindness, I don't' even believe
it's Satan jabbing me, and I certainly don't think the Lord did this; it is
just where I'm at and as frustrating as it can be, I'm a more fortunate man
being blind than many sighted folks, I'm blessed.

I'll leave you with a three part recipe to help you along.

1. Make sure you are mates with the Lord, address yourself spiritually. Read
the word, talk to God, pray, and just be real and honest with him. He knows
your thoughts anyway, and listens for that gut level still small voice in
what you should do.

2. be wise about things. If you feel you'd be better off in the city? Great
move to the city. If you feel you need additional blindness skills, great
find how to get them? If you feel you are lacking in confidence in doing
things, know that the more you do things successfully the more you'll reach
past yourself. Never mind the super-blind folks out there doing everything
under the sun. The only person you need to prove anything to is yourself.
And also know if God takes you as you are, you certainly can.  So do some
thinking on things, get your mindset working positively in your favor,
backed up with the spiritual side.

3. Physical exercise not only is good for your health, but has chemical
scientific reasons why exerting exercise and muscles helps the mind and
emotional side of things. You don't even need any special equipment. Your
body is equipment enough; there are lots of videos on YouTube for body
weight exercises to get started. Okay, many of them are lame ones that just
have music with some dude flexing in front of a camera, but not all are. The
point is going for a walk, jog in place, do some push ups, do some pull ups,
get up and do something physical.

There isn't anyone here that can emphatically tell you what to do for you,
that decision is a gift from God and between you and him, but just know
being frustrated and troubled by your struggle with blindness is actually a
good thing. Why? Because that tells me you want better for yourself and you
are willing to do something about it rather than use your butt to compress
the cushion on the couch all day long.

Remember, anything is possible with Christ. Sometimes he just requires we
take some action so he can guide us.  You will be just fine, because from
what I read in your words, that is your goal and desire; and you've been
given the resources and ability to get there. You can do it.

Blessings,

Brad