I think the biggest challenge both my husband and I have being totally blind
is transportation. I'll admit, where we originally moved from was a lot
better in terms of transportation accessibility. We just didn't feel safe
raising small children in such a harsh environment at the time. When we
moved to our current location transportation was fairly accessible. The
buses especially. Now that our town is growing, the transportation system
is horrible. We're thinking that once our children are up and out we might
move back to our original spot so we can get around by ourselves again.
In the meantime we're looking forward to the time when our oldest son can
drive. That's still a few years yet. It will be nice to have that freedom
to go whenever whereever we want to without our entire neighborhood knowing.
It's hard enough to have to ask people for rides to places, especially
places we NEED to go. On the other hand, we feel guilty asking people for
rides to go and do fun things especially with our kids. I can't imagine
what it would be like to go on a romantic get-a-way by ourselves, dates,
etc. When you're having to depend on others for transportation, you're
basically at their mercy. You come and go on their terms, when it's
convenient for them, not yourself.
But we were both too young and dumb at the time we got married and didn't
think about some of these minor details at the time. But we just go forth
doing the best we can and realize we have these limitations that we can't do
anything about right now. We live life to its fullest and be happy.
Sylvia Bernert
"If you can conceive it and believe it, you can achieve it."
-----Original Message-----
From: For blind ham radio operators [mailto:[log in to unmask]]
On Behalf Of Steve
Sent: Saturday, June 01, 2013 8:45 AM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: sighted wife
I have been married to a sighted person as well as a blind person. For
whatever its worth, my blind wife and I had some issues so we split up, but
have since re-married.
I think there is a bit of a "blind culture" a that many of us share. It
doesn't mean that you will necessarily have a better marriage, but you learn
to deal with the challenges i.e. mainly transportation. To some extent,
with both of us blind, we choose to live in an area with good public transit
which maximizes our independence. Through the use of assistive technology,
we rarely have to use others to help with stuff. We have two sighted sons
who at least right now, live nearby i.e. within fifteen miles.
Being pretty independent for my adult life, my sighted wife used to complain
that she could do some things faster than I could. I think that ended up
being an issue, because I didn't want to become dependent even though, for
example, she could cut my hour ride to work using the bus to less than
twenty minutes.
Steve, K8SP
----- Original Message -----
From: "Steve Dresser" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Thursday, May 30, 2013 4:13 PM
Subject: Re: sighted wife
> Sylvia,
>
> I am totally blind, and have been married to my second wife (also totally
> blind) for almost sixteen years. My first wife was also totally blind,
> and
> although our marriage ultimately ended, our blindness wasn't the issue.
>
> I used to think that two blind people marrying each other was the best
> choice, but now I think it's more important to base the relationship on
> shared values and beliefs. Others on this list have mentioned the power
> dynamics between blind and sighted partners, and I have to agree that this
> can certainly become a problem if not properly addressed. I also think
> that
> any other issue you can name can also destroy a marriage if the partners
> can't find a way to work it through. My present wife and I have often
> commented on how much easier things would be if one of us could see.
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