Well said, Harvey.  I struggled with this question a lot when I was in 
college, and finally decided that although many things might be easier if I 
had a sighted wife, it was ultimately more important to marry someone who 
accepted and understood me regardless of whether that person could see or 
not.  It seemed to me that some sighted girls wanted to go out with me 
because they saw an opportunity to rescue someone, and I definitely didn't 
want that.  I don't think that was true in all cases, but I got tired of 
trying to figure out when it was or wasn't true.  If I were looking for a 
mate today, I think that would just be one of many issues I'd want to 
resolve.  If my potential mate could see, we'd have different issues than if 
she were blind, but ultimately it would come down to how well we could work 
through whatever issues we had, and where we came out at the end of the 
process.

Steve

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Harvey Heagy" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Saturday, May 25, 2013 11:03
Subject: Re: sighted partners


>I agree with you, Buddy.  While it certainly is not a bad thing to have
> access to sight, one must consider do they want a partner or a man or maid
> servant?  After all, we are asking someone to accept our blindness,
> shouldn't we as blind people ourselves do the same thing for another blind
> person?  Those blind people who want a partner just for sight's sake, or 
> use
> their sighted children for servants, guide dogs Etc. usually end up
> regretting it.  What makes or breaks a relationship to me is, do you love
> that person for what they are, and is that person the one you want to 
> spend
> the rest of your life with in good times and bad?
>
> I am no stranger to that balance of power situation you spoke of.  I was
> briefly engaged to a sighted woman in 1976, but it was clear early on that
> she intended to use her sight to manipulate me which I wouldn't have.  Her
> and her father's attitude basically was, "we don't care if you marry her,
> but we're calling the shots."  You sign your name to a blank piece of 
> paper
> and we'll fill in the details.  No way, not for me.
> Harvey
>