Hi phil and all

I first off want to say phil that i been reading your articles and   i
really love what you have to say.
Anyway how this ties in with me is this.  allot of feelings  expressed
in the articles  you wrote i truly am feeling them allot.   My
blindness has been a real struggle and  i get pushed aside. what i
experience is this i  have expressed myself to few other blind list
and christian list actually as well and to me  it is like they  accuse
me of complaining when actually  i am not   the thing i feel is this
that yes there are very successful  blind people out there but  there
are some that simply need a helping hand in the fighting for things
and stuff.
I have been having quite a few of the feelings that  have been mentioned.
I was told in a previous church that i couldn't do sound for example
and have not received much  and hardly any help with blindness stuff.
 i been getting people who have just say hi and then by and never talk
to me  and i have experienced allot of doubt  from others and things.
even now  i am experiencing allot of hurt from the miss treatment the
world has been throwing at me.  I  been finding things a emotional
roller coaster it seems.  i do get very angry and it is just very
difficault for me to even get out to do things as i live in a rural
area and in a rural area for a blind person can be very very
difficault if you can't get a driver to take you to the thin all the
things you want to go when it is needed.  i just experience as i  said
a roller coaster of emotions and things. i do get angry because of the
hurts that i have experienced or am experiencing.  I  even get tears
in my eyes and  can get as far as crying and things. I don't like to
cry as i feel ashamed of it sometimes.
I live in canada and it almost seems like the blind does not have a
whole lot like canada does not  have the nfb centers like you do
sometimes i wonder if god truly wants me in canada but i just don't
know.
I  find it a struggle on a daily bases.  and to me  the artucle you
wrote on throw away christians describes as well what has done to me.
 i not sure what to do I really  struggle with coaping and let me say
this to i have had feelings sometimes when i am blind like god is
punishing  me by allowing me to be blind i have had people tell me
that god wants to heal you and all this mixed bag of stuff and some
have gone as far as saying the devil was the one that stole my sight.
and it is like some people don't truly want to hear how i feel.  I
feel very strongly that satan is just out to kill and destroy and does
not want nobody to succeed. or have a life. and i am not saying it is
but it almost seems like satan has his and in allot of things that are
happening these days i am not saying this to give him credit but it
sure seems like it.

for me it is very hard to  have patence.  like when i sit still i have
a hard time sitting still and i get very figgity and it is very
difficault.  sometimes i feel like i am afraid of people sometimes in
a sence when it comes to trusting as i been hurt so much in the past
and things.
Phil and all i just wanted to post for your thoughts and  things like
that  we may not have all the answers but it is god that has to give
the answers. Anyway hope you all are well.