Allan,

There is very much a medical reason for his slumping, drooling, and needing to be reminded....it is called cerebral palsy.  That being said there is an awesome online support group of parents with all kinds of kids, blended families etc.  The website is www.our-kids.org

You will find lots of listening ears, sage advice...and maybe even some solutions.  Hope to see you there.

Cheryl

PS.  I am the parent of twins with disabilities...one with very severe cp, the other with Aspbergers.  I think it is awesome you have remained a part of your son's life...and I wish the best for you...maybe you can even get your wife interested in participating on the our-kids listserv

-----Original Message-----
>From: Allan Olive <[log in to unmask]>
>Sent: Mar 20, 2009 11:50 AM
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Where to get answer, counseling for families of a child with CP.
>
>Hello All,
>
>I just signed up because I am looking for some help and I am having the=20=
>
>hardest time finding what I need.
>
>I live in Columbia County Georgia and I have a 12 year old son with moder=
>ate=20
>CP.  He has impaired speech and motor skills.  He is in a wheelchair but =
>can=20
>crawl.  He can speak basic words with effort.  He is toilet trained.
>
>To get right to it, I know that the divorce rate is high for families wit=
>h children=20
>of disabilities.  My wife and I divorced when my son was around 6 or 7.  =
>I have=20
>split custody so I have him 15 days out of the month.  I am remarried, an=
>d=20
>that is where my problem is.
>
>My wife loves my son Daniel.  But lately she is growing more and more=20
>annoyed and aggravated with him.  It shows in how she talk to him and tre=
>ats=20
>him.  She is almost always angry when he is over.  She has not always bee=
>n=20
>this way with him, but it is getting worse and worse.  You can almost cut=
> the=20
>tension in the air when it is his time to be there.
>
>He tends to slump in his chair and hang his head to one side and to keep =
>one=20
>of his hands clenched in a fist.  If you look at him and tell him to sit =
>up he=20
>will .  He will self correct all of those things.  He will sit there with=
> his mouth=20
>open and watch tv or play and he tends to drool if he forgets to swallow.=
>  If=20
>you tell him to close his mouth and swallow he will with no problems.  Bu=
>t after=20
>a few minutes he reverts back and may start to drool again.
>
>This is a huge issue for my wife.  She does not understand why he has to=20=
>
>constantly be reminded.  If you look at him he will immediately close his=
> mouth=20
>and swallow because he knows he should be doing that.  But for some reaso=
>n=20
>it really upsets my wife that he constantly has to be reminded and does n=
>ot=20
>do it on his own.  She thinks he knows he should and just chooses not too=
>.  I=20
>disagree.  I don't like to see it either, but when I do, I try to lovingl=
>y remind=20
>him to do it.  She says I am babying him.  Am I?  I don't know.  I expect=
> him=20
>to do it, but I don't get angry with him if he fails to.
>
>What should I do here?  I am at a total loss.  This has really become a=20=
>
>problem between my wife and I.  Is there a medical explanation as to why =
>he=20
>constantly does that?  Can he not be expected to remember to do those=20
>things on his own?
>
>Are their support groups for families that struggle with these issues?  I=
>s=20
>counseling available from people who have been there and understand?  Are=
>=20
>their on-line resources available that may help me?
>
>Thanks in advance for any response.
>
>-----------------------
>
>To change your mail settings or leave the C-PALSY list, go here:
>
>http://listserv.icors.org/SCRIPTS/WA-ICORS.EXE?SUBED1=3Dc-palsy

-----------------------

To change your mail settings or leave the C-PALSY list, go here:

http://listserv.icors.org/SCRIPTS/WA-ICORS.EXE?SUBED1=c-palsy