hahaha phil.  Ain't that the truth!  That's cute, but definitely not 
going to be repeated!
Jenifer Gilley
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----- Original Message ----- From: "Phil Scovell" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Tuesday, February 17, 2009 10:56 AM
Subject: Attention Jen - Unholy Humor


>It's Not Worth Repeating - Not In Church Anyhow.
>
>          A pastor  of a large  church stood up to  preach one Sunday.   He
>     began by making an announcement.
>
>          "I have been  given an opportunity to accept the position of head
>     pastor at..."
>
>          Before he could finish, a large man stood to his feet.  His voice
>     was loud and echoed through the large auditorium.  "Pastor, before you
>     make your decision final,  I would like to make you an offer.  I build
>     homes for a  living.  If  you and your family  will stay, I  will, for
>     free, build you  a nice two story, six bedroom,  four bathroom, triple
>     car garage, with a full sized swimming pool on ten acres of land.
>
>          Another man jumped to his feet.  His voice boomed louder than the
>     first  man's.  "Pastor, I'll add to that  offer.  As everyone knows, I
>     own the Cadillac dealership in town.  I'll give you, free of charge, a
>     new Caddy  of  your  choice  each  and   every  year   that you  stay.
>     Furthermore, I will  give your wife the  Cadillac SUV so she  can take
>     your children to school every day in luxury."
>
>          A third man stood to his feet and said, "I am the chairman of the
>     board and if you'll  stay, pastor, we will triple your salary and give
>     you eight weeks of paid vacation."
>
>          About this  time, a little old lady by  the name of Mrs. Johnson,
>     the oldest member of  the church at 95 years of age,  struggled to her
>     feet.   Her voice  was loud  and sharp  and everyone  could  not  have
>     helped  but listen.   she said, "Pastor,  I've talked it  over with my
>     husband and I will offer you sex every night for the rest of your life
>     if you will stay."
>
>          You could have heard a  pin drop by the time the pastor found his
>     voice.   He said, Mrs. Johnson,  what ever in the  world caused you to
>     say such a thing?"
>
>          She  smiled and said, "Well,  pastor, I leaned  over and asked my
>     husband if we could do something to encourage you to stay and he said,
>     'Screw him.'"