It's Not Worth Repeating - Not In Church Anyhow.
A pastor of a large church stood up to preach one Sunday. He
began by making an announcement.
"I have been given an opportunity to accept the position of head
pastor at..."
Before he could finish, a large man stood to his feet. His voice
was loud and echoed through the large auditorium. "Pastor, before you
make your decision final, I would like to make you an offer. I build
homes for a living. If you and your family will stay, I will, for
free, build you a nice two story, six bedroom, four bathroom, triple
car garage, with a full sized swimming pool on ten acres of land.
Another man jumped to his feet. His voice boomed louder than the
first man's. "Pastor, I'll add to that offer. As everyone knows, I
own the Cadillac dealership in town. I'll give you, free of charge, a
new Caddy of your choice each and every year that you stay.
Furthermore, I will give your wife the Cadillac SUV so she can take
your children to school every day in luxury."
A third man stood to his feet and said, "I am the chairman of the
board and if you'll stay, pastor, we will triple your salary and give
you eight weeks of paid vacation."
About this time, a little old lady by the name of Mrs. Johnson,
the oldest member of the church at 95 years of age, struggled to her
feet. Her voice was loud and sharp and everyone could not have
helped but listen. she said, "Pastor, I've talked it over with my
husband and I will offer you sex every night for the rest of your life
if you will stay."
You could have heard a pin drop by the time the pastor found his
voice. He said, Mrs. Johnson, what ever in the world caused you to
say such a thing?"
She smiled and said, "Well, pastor, I leaned over and asked my
husband if we could do something to encourage you to stay and he said,
'Screw him.'"
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