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10TH AFRICA FEST ANNIVERSARY
SATURDAY, AUGUST 16, 2008,
WARNER PARK 11AM – 7PM
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A wrap-up of Obama's Tour of Mid-East & Europe...
From The Times
July 25, 2008
Gerard Baker
And it came to pass, in the eighth year of the reign of the
evil Bush the Younger (The Ignorant), when the whole land
from the Arabian desert to the shores of the Great Lakes had
been laid barren, that a Child appeared in the wilderness.
The Child was blessed in looks and intellect. Scion of a
simple family, offspring of a miraculous union, grandson of
a typical white person and an African peasant. And yea, as
he grew, the Child walked in the path of righteousness, with
only the occasional detour into the odd weed and a little
blow.
When he was twelve years old, they found him in the temple
in the City of Chicago , arguing the finer points of
community organisation with the Prophet Jeremiah and the
Elders. And the Elders were astonished at what they heard
and said among themselves: "Verily, who is this Child
that he opens our hearts and minds to the audacity of
hope?"
In the great Battles of Caucus and Primary he smote the
conniving Hillary, wife of the deposed King Bill the Priapic
and their barbarian hordes of Working Class Whites.
And so it was, in the fullness of time, before the harvest
month of the appointed year, the Child ventured forth - for
the first time - to bring the light unto all the world.
He travelled fleet of foot and light of camel, with a small
retinue that consisted only of his loyal disciples from the
tribe of the Media. He ventured first to the land of the
Hindu Kush , where the
Taleban had harboured the viper of al-Qaeda in their bosom,
raining terror on all the world.
And the Child spake and the tribes of Nato immediately
loosed the Caveats that had previously bound them. And in
the great battle that ensued the forces of the light were
triumphant. For as long as the
Child stood with his arms raised aloft, the enemy suffered
great blows and the threat of terror was no more.
From there he went forth to Mesopotamia where he was
received by the great ruler al-Maliki, and al-Maliki spake
unto him and blessed his Sixteen Month Troop Withdrawal Plan
even as the imperial warrior Petraeus tried to destroy it.
And lo, in Mesopotamia , a miracle occurred. Even though
the Great Surge of Armour that the evil Bush had ordered had
been a terrible mistake, a waste of vital military resources
and doomed to end in disaster, the Child's very presence
suddenly brought forth a great victory for the forces of the
light.
And the Persians, who saw all this and were greatly
fearful, longed to speak with the Child and saw that the
Child was the bringer of peace. At the mention of his name
they quickly laid aside their intrigues and beat their
uranium swords into civil nuclear energy ploughshares.
From there the Child went up to the city of Jerusalem , and
entered through the gate seated on an ass. The crowds of
network anchors who had followed him from afar cheered
"Hosanna" and waved great palm fronds and strewed
them at his feet.
In Jerusalem and in surrounding Palestine , the Child spake
to the Hebrews and the Arabs, as the Scripture had foretold.
And in an instant, the lion lay down with the lamb, and the
Israelites and Ishmaelites ended their long enmity and lived
for ever after in peace.
As word spread throughout the land about the Child's
wondrous works, peoples from all over flocked to hear him;
Hittites and Abbasids; Obamacons and McCainiacs;
Cameroonians and Blairites.
And they told of strange and wondrous things that greeted
the news of the Child's journey. Around the world,
global temperatures began to decline, and the ocean levels
fell and the great warming was over.
The Great Prophet Algore of Nobel and Oscar, who many had
believed was the anointed one, smiled and told his followers
that the Child was the one generations had been waiting for.
And there were other wonderful signs. In the city of the
Street at the Wall, spreads on interbank interest rates
dropped like manna from Heaven and rates on credit default
swaps fell to the ground as dead birds from the almond tree,
and the people who had lived in foreclosure were able to
borrow again.
Black gold gushed from the ground at prices well below $140
per barrel. In hospitals across the land the sick were cured
even though they were uninsured. And all because the Child
had pronounced it.
And this is the testimony of one who speaks the truth and
bears witness to the truth so that you might believe. And he
knows it is the truth for he saw it all on CNN and the BBC
and in the pages of The New York Times.
Then the Child ventured forth from Israel and Palestine and
stepped onto the shores of the Old Continent. In the land of
Queen Angela of Merkel, vast multitudes gathered to hear his
voice, and he preached to them at length.
But when he had finished speaking his disciples told him
the crowd was hungry, for they had had nothing to eat all
the hours they had waited for him.
And so the Child told his disciples to fetch some food but
all they had was five loaves and a couple of frankfurters.
So he took the bread and the frankfurters and blessed them
and told his disciples to feed the multitudes. And when all
had eaten their fill, the scraps filled twelve baskets.
Thence he travelled west to Mount Sarkozy . Even the
beauteous Princess Carla of the tribe of the Bruni was
struck by awe and she was great in love with the Child, but
he was tempted not.
On the Seventh Day he walked across the Channel of the
Angles to the ancient land of the hooligans. There he was
welcomed with open arms by the once great prophet Blair and
his successor, Gordon the Leper, and his successor, David
the Golden One.
And suddenly, with the men appeared the archangel Gabriel
and the whole host of the heavenly choir, ranks of cherubim
and seraphim, all praising God and singing: "Yes, We
Can."
>>>>
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