Thanks John,
This is good.
Vinny
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "john schwery" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Friday, January 22, 2010 7:00 AM
Subject: Fwd: Bible Humor



text of forwarded message follows:

>   LOT 'S WIFE
>The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot
>'s wife looked back and turned into a pillar of
>salt, when little Jason interrupted, 'My Mommy
>looked back once while she was driving,' he
>announced triumphantly, 'and she turned into a telephone pole!'
>
>GOOD SAMARITAN
>       A Sunday school teacher was telling her
> class the story of the Good Samaritan.  She
> asked the class, 'If you saw a person lying on
> the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what
> would you do?'  A thoughtful little girl broke
> the hushed silence, 'I think I'd throw up.'
>
>DID NOAH FISH?
>       A Sunday school teacher asked, 'Johnny,
> do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he
> was on the Ark ? ''No,' replied Johnny. 'How could he, with just two 
> worms.'
>
>HIGHER POWER
>       A Sunday school teacher said to her
> children, 'We have been learning how powerful
> kings and queens were in Bible times. But,
> there is a Higher Power. Can anybody tell me
> what it is? One child blurted out, ' Aces!'
>
>MOSES AND THE RED SEA
>       Nine-year-old Joey was asked by his
> mother what he had learned in Sunday School.
> 'Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent
> Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to
> lead the Israelites out of Egypt .  When he got
> to the  Red Sea  , he had his army build a
> pontoon bridge and all the people walked across
> safely.  Then he radioed headquarters for
> reinforcements.  They sent bombers to blow up
> the bridge and all the Israelites were saved.'
>
>'Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?' his Mother asked.
>
>'Well, no, Mom.  But, if I told it the way the
>teacher did, you'd never believe it!'
>
>THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD
>       A Sunday School teacher decided to have
> her young class memorize one of the most quoted
> passages in the Bible - Psalm 23.   She gave
> the youngsters a month to learn the
> chapter.  Little Rick was excited about the
> task - but he just couldn't remember the Psalm.
> After much practice, he could barely get past the first line.
>       On the day that the kids were scheduled
> to recite Psalm 23 in front of the
> congregation, Ricky was so nervous. When it was
> his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and
> said pr oudly, 'The Lord is my Shepherd, and that's all I need to know.'
>
>UNANSWERED PRAYER
>       The preacher's 5 year-old daughter
> noticed that her father always paused and bowed
> his head for a moment before starting his sermon.  One day, she asked him 
> why.
>   'Well, Honey,' he began, proud that his
> daughter was so observant of his
> messages.  'I'm asking the Lord to help me preach a good sermon.'
>'How come He doesn't answer it?' she asked.
>
>
>UNTIMELY ANSWERED PRAYER
>       During the minister's prayer one Sunday,
> there was a loud whistle from one of the back
> pews.  Tommy's mother was horrified. She
> pinched him into silence and, after church,
> asked, 'Tommy, whatever made you do such a thing?'
>   Tommy answered soberly, 'I asked God to teach me to whistle, and He 
> did!'
>
>ALL MEN / ALL GIRLS
>        When my daughter, Kelli, said her
> bedtime prayers, she would bless every family
> member, every friend, and every animal (current
> and past).   For several weeks, after we had
> finished the nightly prayer, Kelli would say,
> 'And all girls.'  This soon became part of her
> nightly routine, to include this closing.  My
> curiosity got the best of me and I asked her,
> 'Kelli, why do you always add the part about all girls?'
>      Her response, 'Because everybody always
> finish their prayers by saying 'All Men'!'
>
>SAY A PRAYER
>
>       Little Johnny and his family were having
> Sunday dinner at his Grandmother' s
> house.  Everyone was seated around the table as
> the food was being served.  When Little Johnny
> received his plate, he started eating right away.
>       'Johnny!  Please wait until we say our prayer.'  said his mother..
>      'I don't need to,'  the boy replied.
>       'Of course, you do.'  his mother
> insisted.  'We always say a prayer before eating at our house.'
>     'That's at our house.'  Johnny
> explained.  'But this is Grandma's house and she knows how to cook!'



text of forwarded message ends:

John
Currently in Ocala, Florida Mostly Cloudy, 66°F Wind:SW-230° at 7mph
His belt doesn't go through all the loops.
Created by Weather Signature v1.31 . http://www.weathersig.com