Sharon,
Evolution is a theory. It is based upon what scientists think the fossil
records reveal. The theory is that we all once lived in the oceans as
single cell creatures. Eventually, after bumping into each other for
millions of years, we became a gooey slimy substance which eventually
floated up on a beech. We just laid there in the sun for a long time until
we got sick and tired of being just goo laying on a sandy beach. So, we
decided we better get out of the hot sun so we developed some appendages
call legs. This enabled us to crawl up into the shade where it was much
more comfortable. After a couple more millions of years, we got hungry so
we developed a tiny mouth in order to eat tiny tiny, very tiny, insects
which had been around for millions of years. As millions of years passed,
and our brains began to develop, we decided laying around on the ground with
tiny little legs wasn't cutting the mustard so during deep yoga type
meditative states of consciousness, we expanded our tiny little minds. This
afford us the mental ability to increase the length of our legs and later
our arms and tiny hands. We eventually evolved into the reptilian species.
Since flies had grown into much larger creatures, we discovered how good
they tasted and how much protein they contained but, dad gum it, wouldn't
you know, they developed bigger wings and could perform amazing aerobatic
maneuvers so we started dying from lack of food. Putting our tiny brains to
the task, we realized we need a long sticky tongue which could shoot out
nearly the length of our bodies in order to snagged the flies and so it was.
We grew larger as a result. Eventually, millions of years later, we got
sick of eating flies so we started climbing trees and catching larger and
larger insects. One day, one of us fell from the tree and got a terrible
bump on the head hitting the ground but being as dedicated to life as we
were, we climbed the tree again and a few million years later, one of us
fell again. Up the tree we climbed again but this time, we learned from our
mistakes and we literally began jumping from the trees, arms and legs
outstretched and turning like windmills to break our fall. We practiced
this for millions of years until it dawned us one day that wings work better
than tiny arms and legs whirling around so we began to develop feathers on
our little arms. Soon, we couldn't stop the process and our entire bodies
were covered with feathers. By this stage of growth and development, we
learn, by trial and error, some of us dying in the process, that we could
glide farther and farther away from the coconut trees we now used as our
above ground homes. Eventually, flapping our arms, now covered in feathers,
we learned we could literally fly and so we did. We even began migrating
across oceans and vast land masses which we later called continents. The
world, we discovered was filled with bugs of all types and we ate until our
bellies were full. One day, one of us, we had taken up calling ourselves
birds by this time, lost our footing up in the branches of a tree but our
bird tail snagged itself on the branch and kept us from doing a header right
off the tree branch to our death far below. Over the next 20 million years,
we began to develop softer tails because we rubbed them on the tree branches
practicing gripping the branches with our tails in case we lost our balance
once again. With all the extra food we had been eating, we decided fruits
were better for us so we developed our wings into arms and dexterous hands
with little fingers. We even developed fur for warmth and soon our bird
feathers were gone and our tails were long and curly so we could literally
swing from branch to branch as we collected hanging fruit. One day,
millions of years into the future, one of us climbed down because we found a
little cave. It was really a small entrance but one of us pushed through
and the top of our head scraped against the roof of the cave entrance just a
small amount. We found fresh water and fish in the caves and we learned the
staying in the caves kept us from getting wet from the big thunderstorms.
Some female animals, we now called ourselves monkeys for some reason instead
of lizards or birds, started joining the male monkeys in the small caves and
wouldn't you know it, they started having baby monkeys somehow. Yet, the
cave opening was small and the male monkeys kept scrapping their heads on
the ceiling of the cave entrances until eventually, the male monkeys had
rubbed all the fur off the tops of their heads and they were bald. The
result of this amazing story can now be discovered at any college or
university of your choice because the bald headed man standing up in front
of your class and teaching this garbage is now called, a professor.
Phil.
----- Original Message -----
From: "Sharon Hooley" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Sunday, October 04, 2009 5:25 PM
Subject: Re: Birds Of A Feather
> Phil,
>
> Where do you think they get the idea that dinosaurs evolved into birds?
> Is it because of their scales and protective plates that look like
> feathers?
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