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Date: | Mon, 25 Jun 2007 19:47:19 -0400 |
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I know there are a number of people on this list that I know enjoy a good
pun. Ok these aren't it but, you've been forewarned.
Subject: silly puns
Silly puns hopefully to smile about.
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger; and then it hit me.
>
> * Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a
> rest.
>
> * Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all
> right now.
>
> * The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
>
> * To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
>
> * When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
>
> * A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
>
> * A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened
> criminal.
>
> * Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.
>
> * We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.
>
> * When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U C L A.
>
> * The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on
> it.
>
> * The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky
> ground.
>
> * The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
>
> * If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
>
> * A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
>
> * A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
>
> * The optometrist fell into his lens grinder and made a spectacle of
> himself.
> [That's a story that lens itself.]
>
> * Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
>
> * A backward poet writes inverse.
>
> * In a democracy it's your vote that counts; In feudalism, it's your Count
> that votes.
>
> * A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
>
> * With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
>
> * Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A -flat
> miner.
>
> * When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
>
> * The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
>
> * A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in Linoleum
> Blownapart.
>
> * You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
>
> * He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
>
> * A boiled egg is hard to beat.
>
> * He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
>
> * His parents thought he was a budding genius, but he turned out to be a
> blooming idiot.
>
> * A plateau is a high form of flattery.
>
> * When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
>
> * When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
>
> * Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
>
> * Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
>
> * Acupuncture: a jab well done
>
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EarthLink Revolves Around You.
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