I love it! 


Kevin :)
Amateur Radio:  K7RX



-----Original Message-----
From: For blind ham radio operators [mailto:[log in to unmask]]
On Behalf Of John J. Jacques
Sent: Sunday, January 11, 2009 08:29
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Fw: New Discovery

Hi all, I just got this from a friend and thought you all could use a
chuckle!  GRIN!

73 and 88 whare appropriate:
John
John Jacques
Amateur Radio Station: KG7FA
"Where Cat Is,  Is Civilization!"

--------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Marilyn Dorn <[log in to unmask]>
To: (Recipient list suppressed)
Date: Sat, 10 Jan 2009 22:22:46 -0800
Subject: New Discovery
Message-ID: <[log in to unmask]>


>New Method Discovered
>
>Someone once described a violin as a contrivance by which the tail of a 
>horse can be made to extract music from the entrails of a cat. The 
>process was painless for the horse but required considerable sacrifice 
>on the part of the cat. That was long ago and modern steel has replaced 
>catgut as the material of choice for violin strings, thus limiting the 
>utility of the modern cat. However, I recently discovered a phenomenon 
>that could, in some measure, rehabilitate the specie to its rightful 
>place in service to mankind.
>
>While tuning through the HF bands one evening in the ham shack, my cat 
>jumped up on the bench for a visit. As I idly scanned the frequencies, 
>I reached over to pet the cat, rubbing my hand down his back. I chanced 
>to touch the cat's nose and drew a spark of static electricity. A sharp 
>pop issued from the speaker of the receiver. This excited my curiosity 
>and further experimentation confirmed my suspicions. On a lark, I tried 
>using the cat to call CQ and to my amazement, received a reply! True, 
>the other station was right in my same neighborhood, but a contact 
>nonetheless. I found, however, that the arrangement was very broad 
>banded and my signal was splattering out of the band for which I was 
>licensed. Further experimentation was conducted and my refinements and 
>observations are recorded here.
>
>A tunable bandpass filter was capacitively coupled to the cat for 
>frequency selection. Back issues of QST featured a QRP rig constructed 
>in a tuna can. I used the article as a starting point for the power 
>supply for my rig. The idea being to charge the cat with the contents 
>of a can from which the top has been freshly removed. Research and 
>experimentation has shown that a fully charged cat exhibits greater 
>stability during transmission. Placing the cat on a square of copper 
>screen connected to an earth ground helps the cat to maintain proper 
>location and enhances the signal level. Sort of a grounded grid 
>amplifier. Rubbing the cat's fur with one's hand rather than some 
>mechanical contrivance improves stability and soothes the cat. I call 
>this method Armstrong Excitation.
>
>Keying is accomplished by either of two methods: Straight key from the 
>cat's nose, as initially discovered above, and Iambic keying by 
>alternately contacting the cat's ears with the thumb and index finger.
>As right handedness (or, to a lesser degree, left-handedness) is 
>present to some extent in all species, the cat's ear-flick reflex will 
>be uneven, the right ear generally somewhat faster and thus generating 
>a dit while the left produces the dah. The cat seems to prefer short 
>QSO's and the heavy use of Q-signals. Longer QSO's would probably 
>require a battery of cats employed in relays.
>
>Armstrong Excitation, as described above, necessitated the use of the 
>Farnsworth method of transmission. (a high character speed with fairly 
>long intervals between characters) This also enhanced stability on the 
>part of the cat. Performance seemed to top out at about 4 WPM, the 
>limiting factors being the Armstrong Excitation and the tolerance of 
>the cat.
>
>The cat seemed to suffer no permanent physical injury, but the animal 
>has come to expect charging from the tuna can power supply any time CW 
>tones are heard. This expectation has caused a severe case of Pavlovian 
>drooling and has resulted in some water damage to some of the pages in 
>my logbook.
>
>
>I wrote this as an April Fools piece for the club newsletter back when 
>I was active in amateur radio. Now I just follow the local weather nets 
>when the need arises, but spend most of my time in the shop machining 
>and writing.
>
>Wes
>KB8UKS
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